A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just been dumped by a man who told me he wanted to marry me.He said he wanted to marry me and then I told him I thought he was just using me for sex and money.He had stood me up several times and was worried I was being used again (by yet another male).After being stood up the second time in a week I decided to confront him and tell him I felt I was being used.At this point he then decided it would be a good idea to dump me and it was all of a sudden and so out of the blue.Now, after he asked me to marry him it is when things went downhill.I don't know why he changed and turned like this and feel I was used for sex and money.He often asked me for money for cigarettes, alcohol etc.It is when I said I would not lend him anymore money and wanted him to prove he loved me that he then dumped me.Please can you help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): We have now broken up again as he has moved in with a gay man who is controlling him. He won't let him visit me and is making him break up with me. This man has been around in the background for several months now. People told me they thought they were together before now. I now feel very very confused and lost but I agree with the comments that I am better off without this man. I truly loved him though and this is hurting me a lot.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): The latest news is we have got back together. He apologised about it and says he is going to sort himself out and get a job and straighten himself out.I will give him a chance to show he is improving and see how it goes.I have beared every comment in mind and am going to take it one step at a time and see if things get better or not.I no longer lend him money and have made a point of telling him this.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (12 October 2009):
 Him telling you he wanted to marry you means absolutely nothing when you consider his actions...he stood you up, he dumped you out of the blue, he asked you for money for alcohol and cigarettes...who cares what he says. You need to believe 10% of what a man says and 90% of what he does.
"It is when I said I would not lend him anymore money and wanted him to prove he loved me that he then dumped me." - this is all you need to know, he was using you, i.e. you would not give him the money and you wanted him to show you he cared about you, he didn't so he dumped you.
He just realized he wouldn't get what he wanted from you so he was done with you, he never cared about you. He probably asked you to marry him because he thought that's what you wanted to hear and would give in to his demands. When you put your foor down and told him no more money, what did he do? He left.
Listen to natasia, life has helped you. You need to forget him, realize he never cared for you or had intentions of marrying you, and be glad you're free to find someone real.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009): you are one of the lucky ones. Move on. I wouldnt be suprised if he tried to get back with you down the line.. (say no!)
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (11 October 2009):
 I think life has already helped you - he has gone! And good riddance!!
Listen, if he was already asking you to pay for his habits, he would have been a crap husband, trust me. You don't need that.
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2009): He has shown his true colours. Once he realized that you weren't going to let him take advantage of you anymore he left.
Good riddance.
Be glad that it's over now and that you aren't going to be married to a person like that.
Move on to someone better.
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