A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, please can you help me.I'm 31 years of age, I suffer from crohns disease, epilespy, bi polar depression and anxiety, I have 2 sons from a previous relationship who I now don't see and in july I met this girl and we slept together a few times, but unprotected I'm sorry to say. She has been telling me that she still loved her ex but at the se time she had feelings for me, but thought it would be for the best if we called it quits, hindsight is a wonderful thing and I wish I'd listened to her and just brought it all to an end but I didn't, but 2 weeks ago we both had sex she told me that she was off her pill due to test for her hormones so we used condoms but the 2nd time she asked me to remove it and I did, but I had an accident I never with drew quick enough. We both never mentioned it at the time but a day or 2 later she told me that she had to go to the gp and I asked what for and she said the morning after pill and she had to go back cause she was sick after taking the first 1. She later told me that I was off the hook which I took to assume that she wasn't pregnant, and I heard nothing from her after that then on Thursday I got a message from her saying more or less the same thing and I said to her that I think it would be for the best then that we have no more to do with each other as I assume by your facebook page that you and your ex have got back together, so I deleted her from fb and msn. The next day i got an email from her telling me that thanks to me everyone now knows what's going on as her email account had been hacked and it was me that done it. I them emailed her that it wasn't me and why would I send the emails to myself, we sorted out thatbproblem then she started to talk as if she was pregnant.I'm confused, I have asked her if she is pregnant and for a due date but she just keeps telling me that it's not my problem it's hers, I offer to stand by her and support her, but she tells me she wants nothing to do with me, then we talk and are getting on and she told me that she will deal with it.She messages me on sun morning that she couldn't go through with it etc etc and I said to her that I'll stand by any decission that she makes, I assumed that she was talking about an abortion but later she said that I don't want to burst your bubble but I'll decide what I'm doing you'll not pressure me into doing anything. We spoke cleared the air and all was fine or so I thought. We spoke yesterday and I just asked her what's going on, then she got mad, I told her I'll stand by her whatever she decides to do but I'm being realistic, I'm I'll, no job, very little money, she is, depressed, bankrupt, with a works tribunal which has now been passed to the police due to criminal proceedings, that in the present circumstances what she said the other day would probably be for the best and I hate myself for even thinking that let alone say it, she then went off on one at me and told me that she was going to tell her mother, who has enough problems of her on at the moment and I said that your lucky that you can talk to your parents, I don't know were to start. Then she said that her people will help her and I said that it's my responsability to support her and her baby and I can't ask my parents or hers to help us financially and I wouldn't expect them to, but she has told me she plans to tell her mother everything show her all that I've sent her but I know I'm being realistic about things she then started to go on about my son and step son how I could support them, but I said the way I am now I'd struggle with them as well. All I have to offer is love.I am getting really depressed, anxious, won't leave my room, don't know how to tell my parents, I'm petrafied everytime my mobile rings, everytime I hear a car pull up outside the house its as if I'm sitting on glass or hot coals, I'm not sleeping or eating properly. I just don't know what to do, I just feel as though my life is unraveling around me.Please, please help me.
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abortion, bankrupt, condom, depressed, facebook, got back together, her ex, money, msn Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Am sorry but you should know at your age that if you are going to have sex with someone without a condom then you are possibly going to concieve a child. Therefore you should have thought about this before you removed the condom.
If am honest it sounds to me like this woman is playing mind games with you. First off you need to get proof that she is actually pregnant because it sounds to me like she might just be looking for attention so get her to show you proof first. Once that is done then you need to think about getting a DNA test done once the child is born because you cant be sure that you are the father, especially since she could have possibly been sleeping with her ex. You need to make sure that the baby is yours.
If it turns out that the child is yours then am afraid you are going to have to accept that and support the child as best as you can. You need to talk to your parents about this and tell them the situation that you are in, sure they might be shocked at first but you need support from someone to go through this, dont do it alone, if you cant talk to your parents then talk to a councellor.
Goodluck.
A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Talk to your parents about it all. This girl sounds like she has immense problems of her own. She could be just messing with your head about being pregnant. Do you know for sure. If she is and she wants you to support the child then you could sort that out later. Do you want her in your life, you have enough problems of your own, and if a baby comes in to all those problems I feel it will not fare well. It was a bit mistake anyway to not use contraception because that is how babies arrive. But you must talk to someone you trust because they may be able to make some sense out of it for you as you are not thinking straight. It's not the end of the world for you and a solution can be found but you need to come out of your room and face the situation full on then go from there.
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