A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm a little irritated with my b/f. For two weeks, I've asked him 3 times to air up the tire on my car because it looked low. Each time, he blew me off saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah..." and then doing nothing. Today I had a flat and he was pissed at me because I pointed out that if he would've aired up the tire two weeks ago, like I asked him to do, it wouldn't be flat and now he had to take the tire off and put on the spare and he was cussing at me and upset because he didn't have time to do that. He says it's my car and I should just take care of it, but I'm old fashioned, and I feel like he should assist me with things like this. He expects me to do things for him all the time, like cook his breakfast, and do his laundry so I feel like the relationship should be give-and-take. I'll do the things that fall into my area of expertise, and he should be willing to do the manly things that girls don't like to mess with. And yes, I could've gone to a station and had air put in my tire, and paid the fee, but he has an air tank in his garage, and we live in a small town, and most stations don't carry air anymore. And yes, I could've hauled out the air tank at the house, and done it myself, but I wear dresses and heels to work, and he doesn't so it makes more sense for him to just take care of it. Why can't he see this? He had a huge fight about it and he told me I was spoiled. I told him, our relationship is not balanced. When he asks me to do something for him, I always do it right then, so I won't forget, but it seems like I'm not a priority to him! How do other women feel about things like this? If I were single, and had no man in my life, of course, I would be capable of handling things like this, but I thought that was some of the things men do for us when we're in a relationship -- put air in our tires, change the oil in our car, mow the grass. You know, manly tasks. And we take care of keeping the house clean, the laundry done, the groceries stocked, the meals cooked. He sure doesn't want to do those things, so it seems like an even trade if he'll just take care of the other stuff. Am I wrong to feel this way? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (1 January 2008):
 It is not worthwhile falling out about pumping Air in tyres.
I cook and clean, but my husband will wash up and hoover for example, we do not have to remind each other what needs to be done and equally share the load as any partnership should be. Chores should be agreed individually depending on relationship regardless if it is seen as a man or woman's role.
You do not say how long you have been together, but if you are cooking and cleaning for both of you, he should be helping you in other tasks from the start, as it is only fair to share chores. Old fashion or not, it is about mutual respect, a partner is equal and not a slave of another.
Try not to cook or clean for him until he asks you three times, to test his reaction then tell him Yeah Yeah Yeah. Then if he complains again, tell him that it is his mouth that needs he to feed himself and his laundry to wash therefore he can get his finger out.
On a more serious note, it is important that these things are discussed and agreed at the start of any serious relationship who does what and when, so that one is not seen as "Nagging" the other.
Leaving more free time to focus on more important things, how to be more romantic with each other.
Sit down and talk to him, try to reach a compromise where both of you are happy and agree who does what so that it does not become a recurrent and uneccessary topic for arguments.
Take care
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (31 December 2007):
 He doesn't seem to be much of a gentleman. I'd say if you are helping him out the least he could do is help you out. My ex still does those things for me and I help him with some things he isn't quite sound at. All relationships are give and take. If he's just taking then I think you should give him a heave ho.
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