A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,So this summer i have broken up with my boyfriend and i told him honestly it is because he is not social enough and kinda boring and because im young i wanna have fun. And he fell in love with me so i kinda broke his heart and of course i felt bad like he is a great guy, takes care of me,etc. So he didnt want to speak to me since then at all. I tried to speak to him so we can be friends like there will always be a part that cares about him.So recently he decides to speak to me haha finally. So went out for a bit but as always i am the one who speaks constantly because he is quiet. Few days later he asks me would i be with him again but thos time not a serious relationship because i do not want to. But i just said i wasnt sure. So he invited me out with him and his guy friends and we got a long, and i became really good with them and shockingly my ex was very social and i really enjoyed it. And now im confused because i dont know what to do! Like i like him as a person and he is great when we are with froends, but when we are alone he is boring from my view. Any advice??Thanks xx
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 December 2013):
 you broke up for a reason... do not start the back and forth crap of lonely folks who are trying to settle for a known person even though it's not a good fit.
move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2013): The answer is absolutely, emphatically...NO!!! You both had a good-time; because he was in his element of friends, and was forced to be socialize on a different level. He misses being single, and hanging with the guys!You were entertained by a group of people who were making a concerted effort to make you feel good. His buds were compensating for his dullness. You were the center of attention, what girl wouldn't be taken in by that?When it's only the two of you, he gets bored and can't seem to open up. That is because he only knows how to socialize with his buddies, not his girlfriend. That's a sign of immaturity,and a loss of interest in you as an individual.He feels lonely and rejected when you're not around, and bored when you're there. Seriously!? You are bored yourself, and wish to date other people. Why on earth would you take him back based on one night? No one can change over-night. You will only end up bored as time passes; and breaking up again in a matter of days or weeks. You're in a rut, and there is no exchange of romantic feelings going on to top it off. Just the fact you're used to each other, and the urge to get back into your old routine is making you reconsider.Do what your heart tells you, don't give in to pity. That's all it is. Feeling sorry for him, and just agreeing to put up with it for as long as you can stand it.He'll get over you. He's got his buddies. Get out there and just date. Don't form any new relationships. Enjoy being young and single, and seeing new people. Make friends of both genders, and fly solo for awhile.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 December 2013):
 Don't date someone out of "pity". You do not love him. Find someone who WANTS to same things as you.
There is a reason you two broke up, that reason is still valid.
It's not like he took copious notes and changed himself totally to be with you. I'm sure he had friends before but you broke up but he didn't introduce them hang out with then WITH you til AFTER?
THERE is nothing new under the sun with this fella. All you are going to do is break his heart again.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (9 December 2013):
No, no, no. You very clearly know what the problem was and what made you break up with him. He hasn't changed, he just happened to be with a group he felt very comfortable with or he was trying to show you he can change.
And dating him casually when he obviously isn't over you would also be a mistake.
The bottom line is that there are plenty of great guys out there. It's not hard to find one. The challenge is finding one who you're compatible with. And you can only do that if you're willing to say goodbye to the ones you're not compatible with.
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