A
female
age
30-35,
*atiepain
writes:I've been talking to this boy online for a few months now, we're both 20. When we met I was getting over my ex, so he was kind of like a rebound. He gave me comfort and made me happy from a distance, which is what I needed. Eventually I told this boy that I love him, he did the same. We talked on webcam, phone, everything and lots.He and I both have issues. Social anxiety, really messed up families, we've both went through depression, etc. So I feel bad for him. I've been talking to other guys online and doing things with them, as well as my real life ex. Obviously this guy doesn't know this, and I would never tell him. Too mean.I have done so many things for him because I feel bad. He never even initiated these things either. I stripped for him on webcam, talk dirty to him sometimes, and even made plans for him to move here during the summer and apply to my school. He has talked to his parents about it and all... I keep telling him I love him and have him come around to talk to me whenever he is off work. So, he seriously thinks that I want him to come here in the summer and has started to really look into coming. I've even mentioned kids to him.. and a family later on with marriage. Whenever he brings up the summer and says he can't wait I say the same...I don't know why I keep doing these things for him and talk to other guys but I know it has to stop. What should I do? I feel so bad for him I can't leave. Hes not ugly or anything just really emotionally messed because of his troubled life. I tried leaving him before but it lasted a day... He accepted that we could be just friends but I ended up telling him that I love him again. I suck...
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): If you don't love him as more than a friend, then please STOP telling him you do and stop doing all of this. You've already hurt him by lying to him about all of the others.I think you're just using all of these men for attention to make yourself feel better.Cyber sex is fake unless you've already established a real relationship with someone and even then it isn't usually a good idea.You need to figure out why you're doing this, it has to do with issues within you. You said you have similar problems with anxiety and depression, so start to work on yourself instead of having multiple relationships. Don't have anything more than a friendship until you've resolved these issues. Take care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): You need to be honest with him. All you're going to do is hurt him more by leading him on.
How long are you prepared to lie? When he's moved to be near you? When you're married with kids?
Seriously, tell him.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (30 January 2011):
I don't know if I get the whole scene. But it seems like you are about to hurt him. I mean, he thinks both of you are into a serious relationship. But you have on-line sex with other guys and you have sex with your ex. Is that true?
He seems to be very inexperienced and you seem to have pity of him instead of loving him.
If your story is like this. You should stop it now. At least let him know that you are not his girlfriend. OR, stop doing things with other people right now. And start being a real girlfriend for him. Otherwise you will end up hurting him. And he seems messed up enough right now.
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A
female
reader, axia002 +, writes (30 January 2011):
I'm going to be honest and blunt here:
It looks like a tormented/tormenting relationship
You stated off saying that you were using him...
I think one or both of you could really get hurt
Proceed w extreme caution
Better yet to take time off and heal wounds within yourself first!
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