A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok I'm in love with this girl for quite a long time. She has a bf and being with for almost 5 years now. Recently, she told me she's not in good terms with her bf. She knows about him and have initiated break ups many times but he forced her to be with him. She herself to told her guy that she deserves a better guy. She knows that I like her and I have been waiting for her. She shows signs that she likes me and she shares all her personal life stories with me including about her relationship and once she told me she naturally gets happy whenever she sees me around school. Her guy is very possessive. She tells me she wants to break up, but he is so crazy about her and is not letting her break up. She knows her relationship is unhealthy. Does she really likes me, if yes, why is she not admiting it? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): Hmmmm.Seems to me that it's not her but rather her bf who's the problem... Maybe if you took her to one side and had a straightforward chat with her it might help? She obviously has feelings for you and you could both make a go of it, but she may not neccessarily have thought of you in that way so if you put the idea forward in a polite and charming way and don't make her feel pressured (I mean hell, she seems to be getting enough pressure from her bf so you want to be a safe emotional refuge for her, not just another oppressor) she might respond well? Then, as her new 'man' you can offer to go to her current bf and...encourage him to leave her alone. Some guys crumple under threats of violence, others fear the police, others fear any underworld contacts you may have... Get in touch with your masculine side and get creative! I mean, it sounds like she could just get an injunction if he's being like that with her, and she can always get creative with her friends too... (in my experience girls are GREAT at thinking up payback schemes) Ask her what he fears (clowns are generally good...) If you have any friends who own baseball bats ask them if they mind you using them to scare off this jerk who's mistreating this lovely girl, most guys would help you out (I know I would...) On the other hand, if you're not of a confrontational kind of personality one thing I'd advise looking into is NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) for more covert, subconscious ways of dealing with him. Yes it's manipulative, but it works and both you and this girl deserve to be happy, whether you're together as a couple or not. Good luck!
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