A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey,okay so here's my problem. One night at a work night out me and a co worker started kissing. We were kissing for quite a while and multiple times. Other girls I work with told me she fancied me but I don't know of this is because she was drunk. So I spoke to her on facebook I told her that I liked her and wanted to see how things played out and so I could get to know her better she told me she enjoyed it and didn't want to just forget about it but she had just come out of a relationship 2 months ago so wasn't sure if she's ready. So I suggested we get to know each other a bit better over a week or 2 and see how things go, to which she agreed was perfect. My dilemma is that I'm unsure if she may genuinely like me or if she's trying to gently push me away. Thanks for any help It's appreciated
View related questions:
co-worker, drunk, facebook, I work with, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 July 2013):
 she may like you or she may be using the getting to know you as an excuse.
the only way to know is to go for it and try.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2013): I agree with everything wise owl said. She definitely fancies you but is VULNERABLE and genuinely not ready for a new relationship. It's not an excuse, as breakups- and relationships in general , leave everlasting scars, and she's 100% not ready for it at the min- so if you sway things in the right direction and you end up dating, you've pushed her into it.
And that's not guna be good for either of you- exactly like wise owl said
I fancy people but if they ask me out I say "I'm not looking for a relationship" , because its the truth.
Just stay friends and tread carefully!
Good luck :)
.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2013): I disagree that you "took advantage of her" when she was drunk. I suppose that is a possibility, but I don't get that impression from your question. It seems more likely to me that she was feeling a bit down from her break up and wanted some male attention and probably gave you some pretty clear go ahead signals. My guess is that she is attracted to you and at a minimum somewhat interested, but that she is also still into her ex and probably wants to just take things slow with you so that she can see how things pan out with the ex (i.e. if they are going to get back together) before getting involved in anything with you that she can't easily get out of. If you're really interested in something legit with this girl your best bet is to go back to just being co-workers, but stay friendly with her. Give her time and wait to see what happens with her ex before you try to jump into anything with her. If you get involved with her now she will be focused on her ex and stringing you along. Chances are if that's the route you go she will either get back with the ex or string you along until she is feeling better and then get with another guy. If you stay away while she's sorting out the situation with the ex you've got a much better chance of this working out.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2013): You sort of took advantage of her when she was drunk. She recently broke up but 2 months ago. That makes her highly vulnerable. Her feelings are on the rebound, and it takes much longer than a couple weeks to get over a relationship.
If she agrees to seeing you, expect her to have emotional relapses and start missing her ex. She might start texting him, and following him on Facebook. Next thing you know, she decides she started dating too soon. You will probably be emotionally attached by then.
If you decide to date, expect her to be preoccupied with what her ex is doing. He might not be completely out of the picture.
You'll be back within a month or so; asking for advice on how to deal with being dumped for her ex. If she is in the same age-group between 18-21, as yourself; she is totally not ready for dating yet. Give her time.
She's already self-medicating with alcohol to prove my point here.
Don't get too serious too soon, or she could break your heart. This is a time of confusion for her. Her feelings are very raw.
She's not pushing you away, you are the pushy one.
...............................
|
