A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am sure my situation is common though not every part of it is common. I will try to keep this as short as possible. I have met several girls over the years on the internet. Not really ashamed of it though since I have had plenty of positive experiences. These days I make a habit of talking to someone online for a long while before I would meet them in person. To my issue. There is a particular girl that I have talked to for going on 3 years now and we have had an interesting online relationship. Now by relationship I don't mean anything romantic but at least in my mind it seems we are close. We are able to talk about anything to each other. Over the couple of years that I have talked to this girl and though I never met her I ended up developing very real feelings for her. Without having met her face to face I simply felt I had fallen in love with her. I have told her this and she knows exactly how I feel and yet she still stays even though she does tell me that she doesn't feel the same. Without going into the details of our relationship my question is this. I have now recently met her face to face. Despite all the wrinkles in our friendship and my strong feelings for her we still managed to meet. There is another guy in her life that she says she loves but I won't get into him. When we met I overall had a great day with her. When we initially met early in the day I initially got the casual friendly hug with the classic 2 pats on the back and then pulling away. We have been so close that I said to myself "man anything but that" "it didn't seem proper of fitting at the time but I brushed it off. I mean if thats all she wanted than thats all she wanted. Anyway we went to see a movie and well since I had also had a friendship with her mom as well I was to go meet her mom later that day with her. Later I took her to dinner and then we went back to her moms house where we all just hung out. I also met her kid brother who ended up clinging to me almost instantly. Sweet kid, he even told me he loved me several times and he had just met me and well he is only 4 so. Ok so there we are and the night is wearing on and her mom goes to bed and she never pushes me out the door so that tells me that she feels comfortable and safe around me which is obviosly good.Ok so its late at night and we both are tired so I am gonna go and she is gonna go to bed. I am not trying to hook up with this girl unless its for real because I really care about her so Im not looking for anything spontaneous to happen when I first meet her. She says that she will walk me out to my car and she does. We talk at my car for a little bit and she goes to give me a hug. Only this time that casual tap hug has now become a warm and lengthy embrace. For me it was everything I could have asked for at that moment. We stood there embracing each other for several minutes then we would release and talk a little more. About 4 long embraces later all of which were completley mutual we finally say our last goodbye. It wasn't like she tried to pull away right away and she never gave me a buddy pat while hugging me. I loved every minute of it and I told her "I could hold onto her forever" to which she doesn't reciprocate but says "I know" Meeting her just verified that I really am very much in love with this girl. I want to know what people think about my situation. Does she have feelings for me but maybe just doesn't feel ready to give them to me? She didn't have to hug me like that and I know her well enough to know that she wouldn't have done it just to try and make me happy. I would love to know what people think. Thanks
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female
reader, Manya +, writes (10 July 2009):
HI! I think there is hope for this relationship, BUT she may have feelings for you but there is this other guy. Would you like it if you were the other guy and she started up with someone new without resolving things with you? I think you should meet a few more times with her in a friendly way. (Sounds like she doesn't live far away, which is great!)
if you meet more times, then things will become clearer!
go slowly and remember that if you really fall in love equally,
then you have all the rest of your lives!!
Please let us know how things go!
Love,
Manya
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): hi there,
just read all of your story.
i think she loves yuo but it was a first time of meeting you for real, she ovbiously feels comfortable aroudn you as she hugged you at the end of the night, and you say that all day she never tried to push you away or anything. just keep on the right tracks take things slowly and you will have the most wonderful relationship going! x
hope this helped you x
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