A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,I've been dating my girlfriend for about 4 months. She has been working out with her PT for about 8 months.Initially I thought nothing of it just good things as one would normally expect. However over time I'm getting more uncomfortable with their level of friendship.She regularly brings him food when he asks for it such as smoked salmon or protein yogurts/bars. I find this odd as she pays him a lot of money every month on top if this. I questioned why she keeps bringing him food when he asks and she just said "it's just the way I am".Her PT has openly told my gf that he has a gf himself but has been cheating on her with 3 other women! When my gf told me this I was disgusted and thought the guy was disrespectful and a player. However my gf said that he is a nice guy despite this and never negatively judges him on this. I am by no means racist, but my gf's PT is a big black guy. She has openly told him (supposedly) and myself that she is not into black men and has never been with one. However I do know she has gone for arrogant men in the past and he fits into that category. This whole statement about not being into a certain type of person may be a double bluff?It was recently my gf's birthday. We had a great time we went out for dinner and drinks etc. When I came back to hers I saw all her birthday cards and commented on her having a lot of them. Then she goes over to her cards and the first card she shows me is the one from her PT. She says "look at this card it's really nice isn't it?" . The card from her PT had a paragraph mentioning how she has made a positive impact on his life and not just hers and he said he was glad he met her.My gf also told me that her workout after her birthday her PT did not charge her for the session. She kept raving on about how this was really nice of him not to charge her. But I told her about the numerous times of food she gave him which was not cheap! She replied with nothing.She regularly openly talks about him probably without noticing.Anyway, just putting it all out there. Am I going insane or do I have case there might be something happening behind my back?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 November 2015):
 Maybe you are trying to find the cold hard fact of whether she cheated, yes or no, so you can walk out. Whenever partners become too close and flirty to people of opposite sex and there's no proof that they crossed the physical boundaries, it's hard to confront them without them saying you are controlling, insecure and paranoid. You don't want to end this without any base to your suspicion.
I don't know of anyone so blatant and insensitive about liking another guy. Maybe she is trying to make you jealous, to provoke your feelings as proof how much you care about her.
If you want to end this you can simply tell her you don't feel the same anymore. I don't know how you can continue to be happy in this relationship. She is not going to find a new personal trainer anytime soon. Not for you obviously. Some men have strong obsessions of their partners cheating. It's almost a sadistic exercise, an OCD thing. At 4 months she should be focusing on you. You shouldn't be spending your time feeling paranoid.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 November 2015):
 um didn't you ask this question already?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-my-girlfriend-having-sex-with-her-personal.html
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