A
female
age
36-40,
*m/J.D\m/
writes:Now, this is my dilemma.. I'm with my perfect guy, he treats me wonderfully, the sex is amazing and we can stay up into all hours of the nite chatting, giggling and pampering each other. We're truly the best of friends, we can tell each other anything and work through it no matter how bad they seem. . . But there's one subject I'm just too dam scared to talk to him about.... his ex! Basically, his ex has been texting my fella, asking him back, confessing he still loves him and yada yada. Obviously, I have a bit of issue with that, me and my guy ended up rowing because of it and he told his ex to keep away, but yesterday my guy tells me he rang his ex, told him he really missed having him around and wanted to be friends again! But yesterday his ex said no because he dint want to get in between me and my fella, but the thing is my guy is angry about the fact his ex has finally agreed to back off! I'm really confused... I love my bloke, the relationship is definitely a stable one and we're best mates too! But I can't get my head around this whole situation with his ex. Please help! It's driving me insane!
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female
reader, \m/J.D\m/ +, writes (17 March 2009):
\m/J.D\m/ is verified as being by the original poster of the question Sorry it took me so0o long to update this but thank you so much for the advice hunis :) it helped alot, me and my fella broke up for a while but things are really good now he has no contact with his ex now even changed his number and everything cos he wouldnt leave him alone! It took us a while but we're now living together and trying for a little bambino! We couldnt be happier and if it wasnt for the advice from you we probs wouldnt be where we are today so thank you again :) x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Your boyfriend sounds confused about who he wants. Although it's sad that you can be in a relationship with somebody one minute,and then just because that finished you lose everything.
Have you met the ex boyfriend? Maybe the three of you could get together and you could tell him how you feel about it all, and ask him how he would feel if it was the other way round.
Daring I admit. Now would I dare do it...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): From what I am reading here, your new bf enjoys the interest, the pursuit, and the attentions of his ex-fella. And vice-versa. In other words they are both mutually and emotionally conducting a form of foreplay with each other. And unfortunately, you are the 'monkey' stuck in the middle of this game. Tell your bf to lose contact with the ex bf or he can have him. Set a tough boundary and don't allow yourself to ever be held hostage in their hurtful situation again. Teach others to respect you. You take a risk of loss, but look at the big picture. You don't have a very formidable, committed bf , do you? If he's going to be with you now and in the future, your bf and his ex bf, have to accept the results of their break up. Both of them have to break all ties. Both of them have to accept it's over. It's time to let go.
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