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Does my ex really want to be best friends?

Tagged as: Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 August 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 23 August 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hi, just feelin quite confused and wondering if someone may be able to shed my situation..

Basically about 6 months ago I met a guy who I was pretty into. We were together about 3 months but it ended... for a new couple we had a lot going on.. timing was terrible as we'd both come out of pretty long term rel'ps and still had lot of hang ups about all of that and lot of stress with our respective exes... we decided to give things ago in spite of all- as we felt we had a real connection.. but it went pear shaped... he finally ended it after we had pretty bad row...he said he still had feelings but felt we were too similar (both fiery) and it wasn't going to work.. I was gutted as I really liked him :-(

We didn't really contact each other for about 6 weeks... last couple of months however we have been back in touch quite a lot... Nothing physical has happened between us again but we talk a few times a week ...

He goes on all the time about wanting us to be "good friends" and about our special "twin like" connection... we laugh about how we split up and ridiculous situation we were in... he asked me about 2 months ago if we could meet up- I said no and told him I still had feelings for him so wasn't sure.. he just went quiet but carried on contacting me and going on about our friendship... he also talks a lot about fact it is for both of us our first "single time" in years as we've both been in long rel'ps...

Things have moved on from here tho... The past month we became very close as his best friend (who is only 24yrs) had massive heart attack... it was obviously devastating for everyone.. our friend thankfully pulled through and is now outta hospital.. however I was supporting my ex through that time... we met up for first time since our split at the hospital.. and we went to see our friend in hospital a couple of times together... we were supposed to go for drinks after but just wasn't right time... it was hard seein my ex again after all time but lovely to see each other in spite of everything - we got on great and he has lent on me a lot emotionally throughout this time... still nothing physical has happened between us tho..

Since our friend has been out of hospital we are still in touch a lot.. my ex has fixed a date for us to go out together properly next week-i am taking day off work with him (which is lot like we used to do when we were together!) and we are just going to hang out and go for drinks etc... however every time we talk he just keeps going on about our "special friendship".. how great I was throughout that time with our friend in hospital.. how he feels like he has known me forever- how he takes ages to be close to anyone and wants us to become "best buds"...

Thing is...I still have feelings- am sure he must know but I'm worried to say it again- I did say a couple mths ago before our mate fell ill... He goes on about the "friendship" stuff- but part of me feels he has feelings still?! HELP!

View related questions: best friend, my ex, split up

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009):

wow kind of sounds like my situation hehehe.....well he obviously seems like the kind of guy that doesn't want to hurt you....i'm guessing by avoiding the topic of "us"..?

i think you should still get to know him more and treat each other as friends show him that you really care and that your honest...never give up and keep your head up sister! :) good luck!

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