A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex have recently become best friends this year. he lives across the street from me so we hang out a alot, just like when we dated. He's generally a very touchy feely and flirty guy, but recently he's gone on overload. When we watch tv or movies he always cuddles with me. When we go for walks he links arms with me, and holds my hand when i say they're cold. At new years i had a lot to drink, and he was mad at me the next day cause i was really touchy feely with other guys. My question is, does my ex turned best friend like me??? I'm so confused...
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): What are you confused for? Confusion unsettles a female, it makes her weak and she thinks unclearly. Let use out head here. His actions are saying he likes you. And quite often young folks in your age group would rather 'show' another how they feel rather that using their words. But that's just getting you confused. Now..you obviously know him well enough to say 'he's in overload' mode. But I am wondering why he cannot simply talk to you and ask, "if this can go to the next step'. If he wanted to date you again..why not speak!!?? If he won't, you carry on with daily life as an unattached female and give this no further angst.. If he can't speak, then he has no right to get mad at you when you in the company of other potentials. Another way to tell if he interested, is to pay attention to his 'give and take' behaviors. The way he talks to you. Does he only talk about himself and his life, never giving much thought about 'your life'? Does he take any interest in your life? Does he listen to you...really hear what you say to him when you communicate feelings, thoughts and opinions? Does he ask about your family, friends? Does he express true concern for you? If everything that you talk about together is one-sided to what he always wants, you are likely getting played by a guy, who only wants the affections of a female's attention, without having to date her. When anyone you involve yourself with, only wants you to do everything he wants, it only shows that they are looking to please themselves and they really have no intentions of having you be a part of their life, over the long term.
So I suggest...continue to carry on with your life in a single-girl fashion. You have no allegiance to him whatsoever. The best way to tell if he's truly interested, is time. Hate to say this, if he's just passing time with you, he will get bored soon and move on to another female. And another thing, ask your friends what they think he is doing. If they think he's 'playing' you-listen to them! One's heartfelt feelings can cause one to be blinded to another person's intentions. Sometimes trusted friends will put an honest perspective on situations like this. If you feel you are being played or used as someone he just passing time with until a better offer comes along...trust your instincts and tell him that and end this 'confusion'. It's then he'll be forced to act...either he dates you officially, or he'll fade away. If he fades away, and doesn't want anything more...you will be hurting for a while...but a few months down the road, you will never regret the decision to come right out ask him. Good luck, hun and be strong.
A
female
reader, heather1030  +, writes (3 January 2008):
It's pretty obvious that he likes you. I was in a similar situation, execpt the guy wasn't my ex...but he was my best friend. He acted the way your ex is for a long time, and then finally told me he had feelings for me. If he just wanted to be friends I don't think he would get so jealous, or be as touchy feely as he is!
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