A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I found out this weekend that my boyfriend used a pick up artist to help with getting girls who were a 10 instead of a 7 as he puts it. I have also seen a message on his phone where he sent a message to his best mate with a picture of me and asked if he thought I was good looking. This has made me feel very insecure and wonder if he just wants me or a relationship with anyone. What do you think?
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (7 October 2013):
 Why did you feel you had to look at his phone? What was going on?
OP, if you don't feel he's grown up at age 26, please don't accept his proposal! Don't feel so grateful for his attention that you ignore your gut instincts about this guy.
You know him better than any of us. I see nothing wrong in him being a generally positive and complimentary person, but you obviously feel something else is up?
How did you find out that he used to rate women out of ten? Was that during the phone snooping?
Where's the insecurity coming from?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2013): your boyfriend seems to pay a very particular attention to appearance which is fine in a beginning. but the rating would bother me frankly. is he in his 30s also? if yes, its a pretty childish behavour. this is what teens do. But when you grow up you pretty much start to trust yourself. Is he a looker himself, I wonder.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2013): Thank you for responding :)yes I agree, I shouldnt have been going down his phone but really felt like I had too. when he was younger i think he had self esteem issues and 5 years before i met him he had a nose job. He is 26, I am 33 and whilst initally i was a bit worried about the age gap and took me 2 months to agree to go out with him. We had texted a lot prior to this. When we first started going out I took him away for the weekend for his bday and whilst out for a romantic dinner he was texting. Turns out to be a 50 year old women he works with. He was over the top complimenting her about work and she replies saying i love you and he just repies with a load of kisses. I trusted him completely until i saw that. He has alwasy been very complimentary to me and initially i thought it was lovely but after seeing what he wrote to someone at work i didnt feel as special as i had done. part of me always thought - is he too good to be true. He is always making such an effort to make me happy. We have been together for 7.5 months and i have a feeling he is planning to propose when we go on holiday in a month's time. I should just be greatful that he is so attentive but I just have a nagging feeling at the back of my mind. Part of me always worries when he growns up he'll want to find someone his own age.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 October 2013):
 I can see if he has told his mate that LOOK my GF is a LOOKER - Or isn't my GF HOT?! but asking his friend If you are good looking wold bother me too, but alas that is the kind of stuff you find when you go through your BF's friend.
Other then the whole "pick up artist- stick" and the texts to his friend, anything else that bothers you about him and your relationship?
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