A
female
age
41-50,
*owderedheart
writes:i love my ex boyfriend with all my heart, he was my first love, and we left our relationship in July quite estranged, and abrupt. there wasn't much closure, the reasons for the break up wasn't due to any third party at all, just, circumstantial i think, he gave up a lot of his life to be with me, and this being my first relationship, i dont think i knew how to handle raw emotion. I moved to a new city a few months after July, got a new job, to start over. We spoke again in October. it started well, but he couldn't hide his anger, and disappointment of our failed relationship. it was very angry, and there was a lot of swearing. and blame. and told me he's tried to move on but feels nothing for anyone, and, i thought to myself, at least he cares enough to hate me! ha ha. but still, i love him. We were together strong for a good 8 months, and on and off for another 7, but the good parts were so amazing, this was the first time he'd been in love, and we proclaimed it to the world. everything just clicked. so now, i suppose it's the holiday times. so i sent him a well wishing email, for the holidays, and also, that he would always be in my heart, and i'll always love him. and now we started talking again. MSN only, he's in another country now, and i'm in a new city. We've had 3 MSN conversations in the last 4 days, which is mind blowing to me considering this is the most we've talked in 5 months, the first one, was a basic, how are you doing, he's doing well. and i congratulated him on his new happiness, and he said, he was almost happy. he said the holidays have been hard on him, too much to remember, and not enough, and i told him i loved him. and he said, that it hurts him to hear it. but we keep talking, it was very nice. and ended with him telling me sweet dreams. the next was a very reminiscent conversation, conversations that are very uniquely us, of things we do, and like, and just things we adore about each other. we both mind find ourselves in the city we met, and he said, that it might be weird to see each other again considering how hard it is, and i said it might be good.. to be normal...and he made some joke about being really irresistable now. I'm really not sure what to make of it. i just spoke to him again, and it was again normal... he knows exactly how i feel, as i've sent him a few emails with a detailed map of my heart...it's hard to not get my hopes up...so they are, but i dont even know what to expect... im not sure what to think about all this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): I wouldn't make too much of some emails. He is talking to you which means he doesn't hate you, but he has moved on....and so have you....you don't live near each other anymore. First loves are special, but not always meant to last. Not all love relationships are meant to last, but it will be your practice run for the real deal which neither of you has found yet.
At your age, a lot of times it is a matter of timing, maturity and money......and all the planets being in line in order for things to work out.
Don't get too wrapped up in sentimentality, as this is what this is.
Have a happy holidays and be thankful that you have had love in your life.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2008): Hey
It all sounds good. My girlfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago because her parents would not allow us to see or speak with each other (racial situation, I am older than her, and there is distance involved). She is honoring her parents wishes and so we have had no contact. So I wish she was you or rather like you :). But I respect her decision and love her as much as i can in my heart. Good luck i hope you guys make it. Be good to one another, love is special.
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