A
female
age
,
*urn4life
writes:I met my ex-boy friend 12 years ago when he was going through his first divorce and so was I. He had three young children with custody of them and I had three also. We went out a few times and then went our separate ways. When we stop seeing each other he met someone and remarried and now is going through is 2nd divorce, but has custody of his 8 year old daughter. We got back together again and dated for 8 months. During that time, I became very close with his 8 year old daughter. After 6 month of dating, things started to change. The closeness was gone, and the sex stopped, but we always had long conversations, I felt like we were an old married couple. I asked him what was wrong and he said he had a lot on his mind. This went on for about 2 months, with the same response from him when I asked what was wrong. Finally, he said, that I was too good for him and he could not give me the kind of relationship that I deserve. He never met anyone as good as me to him except for his mother. So a week later his daughter called me, asking where I have been and she was crying because she wanted me to be with her. I found out that my ex was persuing another women and he did see someone else. So his daughter kept calling and asking me to come over, or could she come spend time with me. I tried to avoid her calls, but she would cry very hard and break my heart, so I ended up going to see her, or pick her up. I feel in love with this little girl and feel so bad for her. The funny thing was, after her father and I broke up, I became friends with her mother. Now after a month that he stopped seeing me, he shows up everywhere I am. This puts a damper on other men that have been pursing me. It has been fun in some ways because I do have about 8 guys chasing me, but this is not what I want. So anyways when he sees me out he will walk up and kiss me like we are dating. Last weekend when his daughter was with her mother he show up at the pub I go to, and he never did go there on his own, we both had a few too many drinks and I ended up going home with him. So, I asked him, if we are going to date again and he said he can’t right now. I know, the other women he was chasing did not work out, because he had a young daughter. Last night I ran into him and he stood by my side the whole time. I went home with him and he made me dinner, nothing happen between us, I left and met one of the men that like me. I did fall in love with him 12 years ago and I do not think I fell out of love with him. I am so confused, what does he wants? Does he want me even though he says no or does he want me not to be with anyone else?
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broke up, divorce, got back together, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Artistry +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Hi, Take care of yourself, and good luck to you.
A
female
reader, Turn4life +, writes (25 June 2008):
Turn4life is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI JUST WANT TO GET BACK TO EVERYONE WHO REPLIED TO MY QUESTION AND I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR ANSWERS. YOU ALL GAVE ME A LITTLE PEACE OF MIND. I WANTED TO FOLLOW UP WITH MY SITUATION AND THE PROGRESS IT HAS MADE. I TOOK YOUR ADVICE AND WENT OUT WITH A COUPLE OF THE OTHER MEN THAT WERE PURSUING ME AND GUESS WHO I RAN INTO AND HE WASN'T TOO HAPPY. MY EX-BOY FRIEND WAS A LITTLE UPSET, SAID A FEW WORDS TO THE OTHER GUY AND ASKED ME TO LEAVE WITH HIM. LIKE A FOUL AT THAT TIME, I DID, PLUS I HAD A FEW DRINKS IN ME SO IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO LEAVE ANYWAYS. I WENT HOME WITH MY EX; WE REALLY DID NOT HAVE ANY CONVERSATION ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. HE WASN'T UPSET WITH ME. NOW, HE HAS BEEN THE PREFECT GENTLEMAN TO ME. CALLING, TAKING ME OUT, STANDING BY MY SIDE AND SLEEPING ONCE AGAIN WITH ME. I DID MISS HIM, AND THE LONG CONVERSATION WE WOULD HAVE. I AM GLAD THINGS ARE WORKING OUT, BUT I HAVE NO IDEA IF IT WILL LAST. FOR NOW I AM ENJOYING HIM AND HIS DAUGHTER. I GUESS HIS DAUGHTER'S WISH FOR US TO GET BACK TOGETHER CAME TRUE. IF IT WASN'T FOR HER AND KEEPING ME CLOSE BY, IT MIGHT OF TAKEN A LOT LONGER AND MAYBE IT WOULD OF NEVER HAPPENED.[moderator plea: please turn your caps lock OFF. Thank you.]
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (19 June 2008):
Hi, This is just a bit complicated. He wants comfort from you because, as I see it, he appreciates the kindness you offer to his daughter and the emotional connection you still have for him, that why he kisses you unexpectantly, and shows up where you are. He wants to keep your attention, but do what he wants to do otherwise. You have
heard of having your cake and eating it too? The one important thing here, is what do you want? Are you satisfied with the way he is behaving toward you, not quite a boyfriend, but somewhat a lover, but then again? He has you on a yo-yo string, up, down, at his will just about. Take charge and decide what it is you want out of this
semi-relationship, he is going to take all he can get. You have an affection for the daughter, that is tough, but I have no problem with your having a relationship with the daughter, if it's all right with him and the mother, but you
have to set perimeters around your relationship with him, or you are going to be very hurt, from my assessment of the situation. He is searching for something, he may not even know what it is, if he finds it and it's not you, then what? So in my view this is what is going on, so it is up to you to decide, are you going to stand by and wait for him to decide, or are you going to look for someone, who is mature enough to make up their mind and be with that one person who will be committed to, and love them as they love you? Big decision, but it's your choice, he is only going to keep taking what you give, and it appears, giving the least that he can. Be careful with the little girl, they are vulnerable. Good luck and God bless.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): that sounds like he just doesnt want you to be with anyone else. i guess he doesnt want you to be happy, but i think you should forget about this guy and start dating those guys who are pursuing you, go out with them and have some fun. forget this guy!!
Best of Luck!
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