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Does he want to be in our child's life or not? His new Gf says he saves pictures of his son that I post on FB

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Family, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 September 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 September 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *isfit19 writes:

I was with someone for only a month before I found out I was pregnant.

At first he wanted nothing to do with me or my child, but two months into my pregnancy he decided he wanted to be there, however, this soon changed a month later when he left me and found himself in a new relationship.

When I was pregnant I was angry and he was telling things about that weren't true which made it even worse. This led to us both taking action against each other to stop contact so that we can not contact one another for at least a year.

But my question is now I have had the child he has unblocked me on Facebook and his current girlfriend said he did that when I was due to see when the baby was born and he saves the pictures I posted online; she also said he kept my scan photos. So if he didn't want to be a father why would he torture himself with saving pictures of our child.

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A female reader, Misfit19 United Kingdom +, writes (16 September 2014):

Misfit19 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys. I do see your point but we can't talk to each other for a year without being arrested. His girlfriend has had hold if my son so I shown that there were no hard feelings. I'm not interested in him and the only thing that does hurt was hearing that they are trying for a child. Like my child wasn't good enough. :/ but he apparently beat her up and she lost the baby which I'm not sure he would because he never hit me physically he just manipulated me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2014):

He wants and cares about the child, and not you.

See that he fulfills at least one obligation; if he doesn't have the balls to be a dad.

Get child-support and stay out of each others way. When the child is old enough to understand; he should know who his father is.

If at some point anytime before that; he wants to be in his child's life. Put what's best for the child ahead of your own issues with the father. He doesn't have to love you. He has to love his flesh and blood. His son.

Nothing is more cruel, than an vindictive woman who denies a child a right to know their own father; because he couldn't or doesn't love her. Many young people have written DC not sure how to feel about their own mothers for doing this. Some even resent her.

If the father is a danger to you, and lives a life of crime or outside the law. Keeping him away from your child is justified; because it is done in protection. If he has done nothing more than broke your heart; then you will never be able to get a child to forgive you for denying him/her the right to see his/her father. If they catch wind that the father wanted to see them all the long. Especially if you've poisoned their minds and they find out the truth.

Just letting you now, in preparation for later.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (14 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntDoes he pay child maintenance?

As I see it HE is using YOUR child to make himself look like a good guy. "Look here is a picture of MY baby" and girls go AWWWW - carrying around a picture of his kid doesn't make him a Dad.

I can tell you what I would do. I'd hide my pictures from him, if he WANTS pictures of HIS child he can bloody well contact me and ASK for them.

But I'm a kind of jaded person I guess.

If he wanted to be in your life and your child's life he WOULD be, not just looking at you pictures on FB. FB isn't reality.

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