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female
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anonymous
writes: Too good to be true - we love each other i know it...I feel as if i'm on trial tho trying to convince him cos he can't believe i'm interested in him.He says he's not ready to move straight into another relationship?He worried that i want too much.He says he's crazy about me?He says that when his wife left him he came looking for me?He says he wants to end the relationship he is in with his current girlfriend to finish because it's not right but he doesn't want to go through a break up again (they don't live together but he sees her twice a week and she irritates him and he doesn't want her to move in.) He tries to finish it and she gets upset and he gives in. She's good to have around when the kid's are there. She's told him that she was going to be single for the rest of her life until he came along. this reassures him that he wont be on his own.He's worried that he's not good enough for me?How can we give this guy a kick up the ass?Does he want me or not? What do I need to do to convince him i'm crazy about him and love him to bits?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2006): Sounds as if you have already tried to convince him, right??
He told you he is not ready to move straight into another relationship, and in any event, he is still with another girl. Whether he has tried to end it with her or not, doesn't matter: they are still involved.
Until and unless, he ends his relationship with her, there is not a lot you can do, except back off. You can not MAKE a man love you.
In fact, if you keep pressuring him (and "giving him a kick up the ass" sounds like pressure if ever I heard it!) he will get more confused and feel trapped between you and his current friend.
Do you really want him to drop her and commit to you because he felt forced into it? Think about it.
No, if he does take up with you, far better that he sort out his situation so the two of you can begin with a "clean slate."
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (22 September 2006):
 I don't think he even knows what he wants or how he feels, you need to tell him that you and him can't be having these talks about what can and should and shouldn't be happening between the two of you while he is still in a relationship, you also need to tell him even taking you out of the picture if he doesn't want to be with his girlfriend he needs to finish it as he is being unfair on her, untrue to his own feelings and stopping her from moving on with her life with someone that will want her.
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