A
female
age
41-50,
*imberle
writes:So..does he love me?? Or am I just something to temporarily take up his time and space. My ex and I have been hanging out and having sex since November. We were together for 9 yrs, have 2 children and been seperated for 4yrs. I have never stopped loving him, and want to spend the rest of my life with him. But he keeps saying he is NOT in love with me..yet. But we hang out all the time, like a normal couple would. He knows exactly how I feel about him and our situation. I do not want to be his booty call..I am too emotionally attached. So tonight I made a comment about how I feel, to reassure him..I flirt but I dont talk about it and I am not lovey dovey with him cause I dont want to push, but I dont want him to think I have lost interest. His response to me broke my heart"I have told you I am not in luv w/ u. I enjoy hanging out w/u and the sex is great but that's it! If hanging around u is making u get attached then it ends here(But I have told him from day 1 I am attached always have been)I like hanging with you but I really wish you wud just leave it alone and life take its course" Id this a lost battle already..because I was ready to fight hard??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, miracle217  +, writes (22 February 2009):
Sometimes it works for people to enjoy each others time and bodies with no commitment or attachment. If both people are on the same level, there is a lot of potential for someone to get hurt.
In your situation, you will be the victim. He is obviously not serious about a relationship right now, and by not being commited - the time he is not spending with you he could be spending with someone else, and you have no say in that.
Take a step back, and see other people, find someone with the same goals, views, good sex, sense of humor - the package. You deserve to share your love with someone who wants to do the same thing. He said he does not love you, he probably isn't lying. People do change of course, but are u willing to put your life on hold for that? Seriously? You tried tellin him how u feel and he did the same, the pieces of the puzzle just don't fit you know? and they won't - you've tried for a long time.
This will be the hardest part, letting go. Start by just sending time and cutting the sex out - see if he still enjoys you (and not just your body). You never know, he might realize there is more to this than your time and body - there is potential for a secure future with a goal-oriented, hard working, motivated and loving woman. If he doesn't see that.. take your time, and your body and leave.
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