A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend now for over a year. He is the only man I have ever slept with and I am the only woman he has ever slept with. We love eachother more than anything but when I talk about engagement he always says someday. I am ready to be engaged to him as I know he is the only one for me and he constantly tells me how he couldn't imagine himself with anyone else but he says he feels too young to be engaged to me. It's not as if I want to get married yet, that is something I want to happen in a few years when we are both on our feet financially and stuff. Am I silly for feeling bad that he doesn't want to be engaged to me? I feel he doesn't love me as much as I love him. Thoughts please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007): hun dont't worry he said someday right? so atleast he's got u in mind mabey hes just not ready to have a family yet i mean its a huge comitment and he probably wants to wait untill he's got in enough money to provide you with a suitable home and food to keep you alive lol!!! Just remember if its ment to be it will work out,u just need to work hard on your relationship and dont be put of by the fact tht he dosnt want to get married to u just yet i mean for all u knw he might be dying to marry you buts just afraid!!
A
male
reader, k_finger  +, writes (11 October 2007):
he is just starting to learn the meaning of life. Since you're still young and so as he i think... You better not to push your thoughts about engagement or marraige... You have to learn on something that will pass on your ways, you must be matured enough before getting on second step of your life, and soon you will realized that is better to be this way...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not thinking about marriage! i don't want marriage now, i'm waay not ready for that either I would just like to be engaged to be sure that my boyfriend feels as strongly about me as i do about him. marriage is something that i want in the distant future. so please don't judge me as if i am pressuring him to get married. i'm not pressuring him at all i just wonder sometimes thats all.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (10 October 2007):
 I'm sorry, but I'm with your boyfriend on this one.
You are so young, why do you feel the need to get engaged?
Do you really think a ring on your finger will be absolute proof that he will love you forever and ever?
Can't you just trust him now? You say you love him and he loves you yet you seem to think everything his proclamation of commitment to you is worthless compared to a ring on your finger.
The ring doesnt make the relationship, the people do. But there is one thing for sure that will drive a wedge between you two, that's if you keep pressuring him to get married.
Enjoy your time together, have fun, you can think about marriage later. People got married in their early years in the 60's because it was frowned upon to live with each other outside marriage. Those outdated social values are no longer with us ( well, apart from the religious). Please dont feel you need to take a step back in the past.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): How old are you? Marriage young is a bad idea. Alot of people think they are in love and know what they want and your mind will change over time. If this man isnt willing to commit then he isnt as sure as you are of the outcome of the relationship.
Commitment of marriage is very serious. It shouldnt be taken lightly at any age. If you want it to last that is. Give him a break depending on his age. I would stop mentioning it as more than likely if he isnt as interested in you with you continuing to mention it, may scare him. Or also may do the opposite and let him know that you are ok with his decision and make him more attracted to you for valuing his opionion.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Men usually feel pressured by their up-bringing and natural male programming to not want to take on a wife until they feel they are somewhat "successful" because they want to be able to support her (even if she works, they still want to know they can take care of her, should the need arise). Plus most men also know that taking on a wife, means that there will probably be children later and he may want to finish college, go to grad school and have a good job before he takes the plunge. On the other hand, you may just need to tell him that an engagement can last 2-3 years, or however long the couple decides. Even if he gives you the ring, and pops the question, it doesn't mean you'll be marching down the isle in two months -- unless you BOTH want to. You could be engaged for a couple of years before you actually decide to get married. Just don't pressure him into anything he's not ready for. It'll happen when the time is right. So for now, just enjoy what you have.
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