A
female
age
36-40,
*rissy27blue
writes:Long story: I have known this guy Alex since I have been 6, we played together, went to each other's b-day parties, him and I were close friends when young, I moved to the US halfway thru my 4th grade so we parted. I saw him 4-5 yrs after that and how he changed, then 4 yrs after that and 4 yrs later. Last time I saw him was in 2006 when I visited my grandparents, we hung out and struck a lot of conversations from philosophy to who knows what, he invited me to go clubbing with him, his sister and friends but I had to decline because of some reasons. I was also asked by him to go with his friends to a beach party but declined due to a dinner the same night as his beach party and finally him and I met up and hung out twice at at terrace.We had a great time, that was when my then bf and I were broken up. In 2009 my bf and I split up for good, I went to visit my grandparents this summer for 3 weeks, my mom's friend ran into his mom and gave her our cell # and next thing I know he is calling us. He wanted to meet up with us, my sister said no since she was the one answering the cell, I called him back and said yes since him and I always got along really well. Next day him and I hang out, he takes me to this nice terrace on the beach which is really posh, with lounge sofas to relax on and we had a great time for like 4 hrs. We laughed, had a great time and I somehow felt like time stood still like we conversed. He is the opposite of me: all daredevilish doing sking, snowboarding and hiking sports which I have not attempted to do, traveling to Spain, Slovenia and who knows where. His parents are both doctors, his mom is our family doctor and loves me so you get the idea.Anyways for the second time we were supposed to meet he already planned out to surprise me by taking me to his fave restaurant and already knew where to take me for dessert which sounded nice to me. He called at the last minute to cancel the plans(more like 4 hrs before we were supposed to meet) because he had some unbearable tooth pain. I had to go on a visit with my sister and see a friend then head out on the town but drop a gift from my parents to his mom. Next thing I know his mom thinks that I want to talk with her son which was not the idea, there was weirdness, he asks me if I had something to say, I could not look at him because I was put in a weird situation you get the idea. He added me to his fb friends and next thing I know we are messaging back and forth while I am trying to help him be a better person. His first message was written as an apology as to how there was misunderstanding about whom I came to visit them he goes on to tell me how when we were discussing our conversation how he was enjoying my smile, laughter, me playing with my hair, you get the idea and a couple of paragraphs down he says how I should not take him or what he says seriously but rather enjoy it because when we see we relive childhood memories and what is there to be serious and not to change each other and to learn from each other and something about glancing at each other to spice up our different lives.That left me confused. I wrote him back about that, asked him how he sees me, my ideals, and talked about change and next thing I know he writes me back a message about how he should drop his artistic persona and be a down to earth person if that is what I like or want. I never said for him to be that or implied that. He is studying in Holland for his Master, 9 hrs away and in 2 days after I leave he decides "hey i want to change to what you like".. What the heck? Why? He sees me as a friend right and if so he should change for himself not me or his family...2 hours ago - 4 days left to answer. Additional DetailsAs for the tooth ache that was all true since when I saw him his cheek was all swollen and he was in imense pain. As for his messages I am confused. One of my childhood friends thinks that he wants to relive childhood memories when with me or get my attention or something which he does. Somehow along the way I fell for him because he has shown me respect, after we hung out he asked me "Can I call you" or "May I call you?" which is rare in today's society when guys say "Can I have your #?"...He seems down to earth and all nice maybe too nice... I like him, he wants to move to the US after he finishes his MA in CA which would be nice so he asked me questions about what to expect here and realized that he could visit me where I live anytime he wants... I wish I could ask him if he likes me the same way that I like him but I am afraid that he will say "Oh that is cute but do not that what I say or do seriously" or will laugh at my words when asked... He is a great guy and everything, he comes from a great family but at times I feel as though he has to impress me yet other times he wants to re-live childhood memories grabbing an ice cream and just talking.. What does he really want from me?
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female
reader, crissy27blue +, writes (29 August 2010):
crissy27blue is verified as being by the original poster of the question In the end I found out that he was attracted to me and he found out that I liked him,we both decided to keep our friendship the same though and get to know each other since we were strangers in many senses.All in all last time I talked with him on fb we ended on a sour note of him telling me he is dating someone who is making him happy, that when he met up with me this summer he did so to catch up and liked to talk with me then but not now via fb chat we he would like for us to stop talking.That was 1 week or 2 weeks ago tops.I moved on with my life and have gone after what is important in my life:my family and school!
Thank you for your help but the so called friendship could not be salvaged as we grew apart and he chose not to have anything to do with me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): i think he wants to be more than friends but is to afraid to actually admit it.
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