A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A few weeks ago, I met this guy and we really hit it off. Great conversation, playful flirting, consistent communication. Had an amazing date, had sex on the first date because we simply couldn't keep our hands off each other. Chemistry off the hook. He went away after this night, but we still stayed in contact. Conversation always just seemed to head in a sexual direction. Always flirty. Which was fine at first but then I got worried he just saw me as like an easy lay, and not as a potential romantic partner. Told him I was a bit unsure of it all and he called me to say he doesn't just like me for sex, but was vague beyond that. Was kind of a 'let's just go with the flow and see what happens with us.' That made me feel reassured because I do like this guy. Had another date a couple of days ago. He came and met up with me where I was with my friends, we went to another bar and had drinks, chatted.. I told him I couldn't sleep with him because it's that time of the month and he was like that's totally fine, don't worry! Invited me to come home with him anyway, so I did. Cuddled a bit, not overly romantic but comfortable. Things got hot and heavy. Didn't cuddle a whole lot during the night. He drove me home in the morning and bought me a coffee, has been messaging me since and initiating all the contact. I just worry because I feel like maybe he doesn't want to really get to know me, but likes me a lot physically? Even though he has reassured me that's not the case, and he does make an effort to always communicate. Would someone bother talking to you every day if you weren't on their mind? I feel like maybe we both have our guards up a bit, dancing around each other.. I don't think he knows how much I like him. I've been playing it all cool and casual, but I get stressed not knowing when we'll see each other again. It's so frustrating having to wait to be asked out. I organised our last night so now I feel like it's his turn?Does he just want sex or is he actually into me???
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female
reader, Ewinn  +, writes (13 December 2015):
Girl I have been in this boat before! It sounds like he's just trying to have fun and is not taking anything too serious. If I were you I would stop having sex with him. You don't want your relationship based off sex-- especially when you have sex too soon. If he can have his cake and eat it too, then why pursue a relationship with you? It's cliche but it's nothing less than true. Once your relationship starts off as sex, it's almost impossible to reverse it and have him really take you seriously. I would tell him that you want to take it slow and truly get to know each other first before you continue to have sex with him. His response and behavior after you tell him that, will be everything you need to know about how he sees you. Save yourself while it's still early!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2015): Agreed with her ????. Go to like little crowded place not to noisy not too alone. And chillax
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (13 December 2015):
 That's the risk of having sex so soon.
I suggest you give him a chance to get to know you outside the bedroom by planning dates for public places (and during the day when possible). Drinks at a bar can lead to sex, at the very least to intoxication. Take a tour of your city. Visit the museum, indoor 'sky diving', go for lunch, go bowling...
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