A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just ended a relationship with someone who I found out was two-timing me. I knew I wanted to break up with him in the near future anyway because I didn't want to pursue a future with him for various reasons. I was always thinking about how unhealthy of a relationship it was and about all the faults he had which I found intolerable. I felt great about my decision after I broke up with him. I almost felt like it was an easy way out, because I could blame it on him. (There are a lot of details involved but they're probably not necessary to answer my question.) Even though I was glad to be done with the relationship and all the anxiety it caused me, I still wanted him to want me and miss me. I wanted him to be in pain for having cheated on me. And now that a week has passed, I am beginning to miss him. I know I will never get back together with him and I wonder if I am really missing him or the companionship he gave me. I suppose I am feeling a little lonely-and I wasn't before. Does this sound like depression? Even though I don't want him back, I miss the relationship. Is this normal?
View related questions:
a break, broke up, cheated on me, get back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): no ur not depress at all; ur just missing haveing someone there and u knowing there gonna b there. but dont worry u did the right thing in breaking it off with him specially cuz u werent happy come on girl u know that the most important thing is how u feel when ur in a relationship and if happiness is not one of them get out. trust me i stood in a relationship not being happy and it made me so miserable cuz i wuz doing things just to please him and thats not right pleasure should go both ways. so just look foward and not back go have fun with friends and u will c sonner or later u will meet that guy that makes u happy.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 January 2010):
 We human beings are always trying to fill the void, the emptiness. We use food, clothing, useless information to fill that gap. Darkness is like death and we all dread it. When we are in a relationship we are in the illusion that someone needs me, values me, the thinking that I did not live in vain. It is a great feeling. I think you should come to open up to that emptiness within rather than trying to avoid it.
Depression does not follow inevitably after a relationship. You wasted time with your ex. But you gained experience. You learned that you would not tolerate this experience again. You are still thinking about him because you can't accept it's the end. You are like a composer who writes notes looping over and over again and would not let the music stop.
If you can find peace in solitude, be happy with yourself, you would have no desire to rush into another destructive relationship again.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): grieving has a cycle...
sadness/depression/mourning
anger/resentment
acceptence/coming to terms
...............................
|
