A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year now, and I feel like we shouldn't have some of the same problems. When we met, I knew him as the party person, but we hooked up after talking for about 6 months. In the beginning things were so good, and it was my first relationship since high school. Basically I feel like he isn't that interested in me anymore, and I figured it can't be my weight cause I had it from the beginning. I have been working out this year though, and Im not that big, I'm like an average black girl. Well anytime we have a serious convo. he never has anything to say. Few weeks ago I gave him a choice to either change, stay the same and me be unhappy, or break up. He chose to stay and make things better, and so far I have seen a few changes. However, I still feel neglected from time to time. I know him being a guy, they like to be "active" physically, but when I try to touch him he pulls away. When I confront him about it, he has an excuse like it is the wrong time when I try to touch him. To me, I dont feel like asking for a kiss and hug when I come see him is a problem. The love word came out in December, but he doesn't believe in using it that much. He always tells me he shows it so there is no reason to say it. I don't read minds, so sometimes I'd rather hear it, because him showing it is confusing to me. I'm stuck home on a Saturday night because he made plans "last minute" to go to Charlotte. I know he had to return a shirt and get his computer looked at, but I told him to let me know a head of time if he had other plans. The only reason I found out he was going, is because he told his Dad in front of me. He claims he's bored from time to time, but when I have an idea to do something, he don't got gas or its not something he really wanna do unless I pay for it. He wants me to come outside my comfort zone and try new things, which I do. To me if its your idea, you should pay, not me. I always pay when its my idea to do something, sometimes whether I have the money or not. I dont expect him to spend lots of money on me, he knows that; I like the simple things, the romantic stuff, but he doesnt do the public affection or romance thing. I love him, and I haven't used that word with anyone since my highschool sweetheart (3years ago). With vday and my bday coming up Im not trying to be upset again. For once I want him to take control and let me relax for once. I want him to prove to me that he really wants this relationship cause so far apart of me feels taken advantage of. I do a lot for him, adn I feel like he doesnt do as much. Am I bugging, or does anyone feel like I should feel neglected or worried?
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