A
male
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* Waited For The One
writes:whats next?i love my girlfriend shes changed a lot in 2 months at first i didn't like her because she kind of insulted me everytime we was together but now i'm looking to the future with this girl and tonight i was thinking whats next? i asked her but she just said " dunno " shes looking at getting her own place soon and i told her y dnt we do a move in 2gether but not a full move in like a part-time move in. at first i excepted her to say no way. but she was like whatever i want. i love her 2 bits we been 2gether 2 months she maybe pregnant (she missed her period) but she keeps going 2 the drs and they keep saying " come back next week " shes been staying at my house once a week and i told her lets step it up 2 ... 2 nights a week she told me " i know u like it when i stay at your house so do i " so shes agreeing 2 ... staying over twice a week.we've never once had a fight ever a lil one over the net but 2 me that was my fault i said sorry 100 times and i dont class web fights as real fights because i didn't ring her 2 shout at her or nofthing so in a way its not a real fight.i've never once met her family i met her mom once she insuited me and nofthing else was said about her family and she dont want 2 meet them yet. i've been 2 her house twice but i hate dogs and they have 1 so i kind of dnt like it there i think my girlfriend knows i hate it there because of the dog. but i dnt push my girlfriend into meeting any of her family. do u think the next step is 2 move in 2gether in like 1-2 months i said if she gets a place by the end of may stay over like 4-5 times a week see what the mood is like under her feet 24-7 which she told me she would love if i did. i asked her if she was 1 of these girls who loves there own space and time she told me no. i'm kind of like that sometimes. i told her i would stay over for a month stay at my moms and than after a month if the mood is right move in.what do u think?do u think i'm rushing things? i asked my girlfriend if i was rushing things she said no she wants this 2 happen. my girlfriend doesn't think shes sexy and i hate it when she says im sexier than her i know i'm good looking but not sexy and my girl is sexy shes on the chubby side and i think she thinks becauses of the chubby side she ugly and i hate this because i only date good looking girls.how can i tell her shes pretty?i always tell her shes hot , cute and sexy but the look on her face is like (dnt let me what i'm not) and it hurts me a little because she is hot cute and sexy and im not gonna stop telling her she is because i dnt lie i tell the truth.any help would be great
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reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (10 May 2007):
Whoa, slow down cowboy.
You aren't going to lose her you don't move in together, or rather moving in together isn't going to cement your relationship.
Go with having your own separate spaces. She has her place, you have yours. You'll probably end up staying at one another's place often enough as to make the difference irrelevant.
Focus on being a good person, honest and hard working, attentive and loving. Don't push her for more visible signs of commitment, when you have all the evidence that she's committed to you already in the palm of your hand. She's with you, isn't she? That should be enough to make you feel secure.
And then there's the fact that compliments on her looks aren't always the best compliments. When she achieves something significant at work, celebrate and tell her how smart and good at her job she is. When she goes to the effort of dressing up, then tell her how sexy she is. But when she's dressed down or not feeling particularly sexy, don't rush to tell her that she's sexy or pretty, or beautiful... merely get in close and wrap your arms around her and whisper something nice in her ear. Get her to talk to you about what she's done, what she plans on doing, and if possible help her achieve her goals. These actions speak louder than words. She's probably heard all the compliments before from men who have used those words to seduce her and use her.
Now, back to the "your place or mine, move in with me" question that you have. The rule that seems to stick in most people's minds is how much of your closet is taken up by her things. If it is over half, then maybe it is time to start discussing when to move in together. If not, then no. As for your stuff in her closet, you might want to discretely move some of your stuff over to her place so she feels like she's getting an equal amount of time at her home that she's paying for.
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