A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to this guy for nearly 4 months who I met online. We are from different states, would be a 10 hour drive there. Originally, I was only talking with him for something to do, casual flirting here and there, nothing serious. He seemed genuinely interested in me so I added him on another app that I used more frequently. From there we have been talking every single day, he even messages me when his studying or he shows me different things throughout his day. We get along really well and he even told me himself that between us there's a connection and we have chemistry. We have the same sense of humour, interests, we get each other. He compliments me on my looks often and what I'm wearing, sends a lot of winky faces, cheeky tongue-poking faces.However, it hasn't move from there. I assume he lacks dating knowledge or doesn't know how to move things on as I was the one who originally progressed things forward. I think he does like me, otherwise we wouldn't be talking everyday. So my question is, where should things go from here? I really hate over-analysing things but I don't know where this will go or what will be foreseen to go
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHmm I know... I would like to perhaps talk to him over the phone but his an introverted guy. Just to get things kicking out of text because texting can be boring sometimes. Im not sure how to go about it though. Was going to casually bring it up and then from there he might be willing to see me .. who knows!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 May 2017):
 Sweetie honestly you cannot have a connection with someone until you have spent time with them face to face. Anybody can tell you anything over a computer or phone screen. But you will never know each other truly until you are able to spend time together. I know its not what you want to hear but it is the truth.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@aunt honesty There was a time where he was REALLY into me and did nothing to hide that fact. He was always complimenting me and he got the hint that it was becoming too much. He has suggested on multiple occasions that we have chemistry or a connection, but knowing our circumstances I didn't say anything back to reinforce that because of the distance. I do like him however I get scared to know about the future with him. I like what we have now so far, we get along so well, we are very similar. I know he likes me too, he had 3 hours before an exam and he chose to talk to me before that exam while studying, so I might have some sort of priority? Not only that but messages me throughout the day showing me things.I am abit hesitate to tell him about my upcoming family trip to his city, I don't know how he will react let alone what he thinks I will think, I'm personally not suggesting anything but he might feel pressured to meet up with me or something.
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (22 May 2017):
But realistically what is it that you have now? Someone you can chat to and have a laugh with behind a phone screen? I know for me I wouldn't want this, because I feel I would end up getting hurt. To me it sounds like he is having a laugh chatting to you, but I honestly don't see it developing any further than that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@aunt honesty His a very indirect person so it's hard to get something serious out of him. He likes turning a lot of things into a joke, there was only one time I got something out of him and he was that his seen as a serious person in real life. I think he likes his "fun" persona over text to escape his reality so he might want to keep things as they are. He sees being serious as a bad thing and wants to keep everything fun all the time.
I am honestly scared of asking him where we are going because I do not want to ruin what we have now. He had said to me previously that we have chemistry and a good connection. I do enjoy talking to him, and after some thinking, perhaps its best if we stay as good friends.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (18 May 2017):
I understand where you are coming from. It would be horrible if you fell for this guy and then got hurt. It is okay to ask him what his plans are? It is okay to ask him does he see you and him being together? Meeting up? ect.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses
@aunt honesty; yes that is my other question! He compliments me and flirts with me every now and again but it doesn't have that same essence to it? I can't describe it but theres no excitement, its just boring because we talk about the same thing. I try talking about other things but then he goes back to the same thing after I try bringing up something new.
I do agree with you in the second part! I do think he enjoys the flirt, and I do think we would be suitable as pen pals. I was misleaded by what he had said 2 weeks ago and he indirectly bought up about us being together and that's when I started overthinking things. He hasn't bought it up ever since but he generally does start the conversation a lot of the time, we joke around and we have a good time but I don't want to invest a lot of time into him if there's nothing more from what we have.
@NORA B I am happy with the way things are at the moment, however I'm refraining from bringing up the future since he seems very indirect about a lot of things. He doesn't particularly talk about himself a lot but rather joke around. I think he enjoys being someone else rather than what he is in real life.
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (17 May 2017):
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-i-scared-my-online-guy-off.html
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (17 May 2017):
Okay so am guessing this is your second post about this guy? Only it is much different to your first post. Long distance won't work here unless you both have a plan. Are one off you planning to move to be near the other? Honestly I think he enjoys a flirt now and again but he is not interested in long term.
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A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (17 May 2017):
Well yes he certainly likes as you stated he would not be in contact with you every day.First of all a word to the wise..a long distance romance at the best of times is difficult and i note you stated that he was still studying,and may not have the money or time to move the friendship to another level.Perhaps he is happy the way things are.....I know you would like to know if the is a future for you with this guy.Would you consider talking to him about the future and what he hope to do.Perhaps may not be a good idea to ask him out straight....because you might put him in a spot,and ruin what you have with him.Sometimes chemistry on-line is quiet different when you meet.So just sound him out and see what his thoughts are.Best luck NORA B.
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