A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a question, more than one I think.I'm from the Netherlands and I'm 16, I have this teacher (24) who is absolutely amazing and I have like.. a real crush on him. The first day I met him I was already in to him and I know it's impossible but seriously he is really flirting with me and so I flirt back. He asked me a couple of times if I would come see him perform (he's in a band, and he sings! he is really good) but I was always too chicken to go.I don't really know, but I always have a feeling that he likes me too, not in a 'oh you are my student I think you're nice' but more of a, 'oh you're my student but I really think that sucks because I really like you'-way.. If you know what I mean?Anyway, I always catch him staring at me while I'm talking to my friends or doing my work. My question is, do you think that he may like me too? Because he's always laughing just a bit too hard if I'm making a joke and apparently he talks a lot about me to his friends (I know some of his friends and they told me that, they don't know I have a crush on him).And my second question is, do you think I should tell him that I like him? I'm almost finished with school, just one more year, so maybe.. I don't know. I've known him now for more than 6 months and I don't even look at other boys.. He's the only one that is important to me.. So.. could you please help me?(by the way, sorry if I made a lot of mistakes in my English)
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 I think you should tell him that it is inappropriate of him to be flirting with you, and as much as you like him as a person and enjoy a good flirt, he needs to realize his position and stop stringing you along.
When he is no longer your teacher, only then can you seriously consider him as anything other than your teacher. I find him talking about you to his friends as highly inappropriate, but I guess that depends on the context he mentions you in, and if he also talks about all his other students.
This is not just some silly crush you can have, this man is not a 16 year old boy in your class whom you can simply confess your feelings to as see how it goes. This man is out of reach to you, and you must realize that and stay away from him.
I must also say that you should think hard about exactly why there are laws against student/teacher relationships. There are good reasons behind these laws, and its not just to make teenage girls have broken hearts. It is because an authorative figure will always have the upper hand and be in a position where he/she can manipulate others easily. If he wanted to have a relationship with you, would you say no? You would probably say yes. And don't think you are the only one. Many, many girls have crushes on an authorative figure, either their teacher or an instructor or coach or whatever. These relationships are illegal because for most part they involve underaged girls who are easily manipulated, and an older man who can't keep it in his pants.
Be smart. Stay away.
A
female
reader, Olilara  +, writes (15 May 2010):
Ok, well I'm not sure of the laws in the Netherlands but I know that in many countries for your teacher to have a relationship with you would be illegal. Against the law.I don't think your teacher is doing the right thing given that he is older than you and your teacher. My advice would be to try and get over him. It's very common for teenagers to have a crush on a teacher. If you still feel the way you do after you finish school, then perhaps talk with him about it.I would not do it before then though. Your teacher should know better than to show it if he feels that way; they're not allowed to do it. I know, I'm going to be a high school teacher shortly. Please just be careful, you don't want to get yourself into trouble and I'm sure you don't want to get him into trouble.
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