A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can someone please help me figure out what this guy is trying to do with me?So I met this guy about 5 months ago... Been talking mostly on text and instant messenger. Even though, I cancelled our first date, we went out once and had a great time. He voluntarily told me that he loved spending time with me, and is very attracted to me.I'm interested in seeing him more, but he always seems to be busy. When he does arrange dates, it's usually several hours before on the same day, and usually at late night (after he gets off work).It seems that he keeps me waiting around a lot. When I brought up my concerns, he said that he wants to take things slow because he doesn't want to seem desperate. He says that he does like me, and this could possibly evolve into a serious relationship. He also muttered one time that he has to be careful with me or he will fall in love fast. The problem is, I don't hear from him much. I understand that he wants to take things slow, but this is too slow! His idea of seeing each other is once every 2 weeks! He rarely calls me or initiates conversation with me on messenger. I asked him why he's like that, and he said that it's because he got used to being alone and doesn't care if he's with someone all the time. To me, it sounds like he's just not that interested. If you're really interested in someone, wouldn't you be motivated to be around him/her as often as you can? I know he's got more time than once every 2 weeks to see me. What do you think? Do you think he's trying to use me until he finds someone he's more interested in?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): I think either he is married, or has a girflriend, or wants a FWB situation, or he just generally has a very casual attitude to relationships.Like Eddie85 said, let him pursue you, or talk to him about how this makes you feel.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (20 December 2010):
 It definitely sounds like he is giving you mixed messages and you have a right to be confused. I am not sure what game he is playing (almost sounds like he is married) but it is almost guaranteed not to be successful in finding a mate.
If I were you, I'd either write this one off as a lost cause or let him pursue you. If I a guy is interested in you, he'll cross a desert to fetch you a glass of lemonade. Anything less than that is going through the motions.
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