A
female
age
36-40,
*andingsight
writes:Sorry for the wall of text here.I'm on the dating scene again after having gotten out of a lengthy relationship, and it's an interesting ride. I'd forgotten what it was like to have crushes on people.Now to the matter at hand:I had, for a while, kind of a crush on a guy from one of my classes. I also use OkCupid, and kept seeing a profile with a picture I recognized, but didn't know from where. Turns out, it's the guy. I sent him a message, and we started talking. It was all well and good, but I couldn't for the life of me tell whether he actually liked me or whether he was just in for some casual conversation.Then comes class, wherein he can't quit staring at me. I called him out on it, and his response was to ask me to "hang out". We set up a date: taking a walk around a lake across town. He seemed excited to see me.Fast forward to the date itself. I'm by nature pretty quiet and shy, so he did the bulk of the talking, but I did my best to add my two cents/facilitate discussion of my own. We spent an hour or so walking and talking, then he invited me back to his house. We watched TV for a while, then he made dinner for us and we watched a movie, talked some more, and parted ways.I had a great time - I like the guy and would love to see him again/talk to him more/pursue him romantically. However, I'm again having doubts about whether he's really into me or not (or if, having had one date, has decided I'm not quite what he wants).-(Awkward?) silences abounded over the course of the date, but for whatever reason, the silence honestly felt more comfortable than awkward.-There was no physical contact or hints toward it. Proximity, yes, to a degree, but I didn't feel like, for the majority of the time, we were really in one another's space. -Some sexual discussion, but more topical than suggestive.-The date was originally planned just as a walk, but kind of just turned into a longer thing - I almost felt like I was imposing by hanging around so long, but he'd hint at me to leave if he didn't want to spend more time with me, right?-He commented, somewhat disappointedly if I'm seeing things right, that I "could be boring" and "wasn't a rebel". Also, that I "think too much" But then later pointed out that he's just as lame as I am. I can't tell whether he's teasing me or not.-He called me out on nervous behaviors, like messing with my bracelet, itching my nose, or looking at him when I expected him to say something. Again, I don't know if it's teasing or not, but either way, it caught me off guard.I know that was a lot, and I don't expect many people to read all the way through this and respond, but I appreciate any thoughts you guys have - Do you think he's into me? Where do I go from here?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): that was weird of him to highlight any nervous behaviours. I think he knows he has some sort of sense of power over you, and is taking advantage of it.if there were no compliments, things that made u feel happy about, probably best to forget this guy. 'could be boring', and not a 'rebel', are offensive. Hes knocking your personality, he sounds like a prick actually. You are better not going out with him again. Anyway! dont obsess over this guy, ur obviously a clever girl, think hes not the one for u.
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