A
female
age
41-50,
*ixxxy
writes:I've been dating this guys since a little while and we have had sex in 2 occasions. The first time i reached climax through some running with his penis since he didn't lick/finger me. I can't cum purely with penetration. Yesterday he licked me for a bit saying this was the first time he had done so for any woman. He came many times over and I didn't come even once. He is very caring normally; do you think he noticed? I might end up having a long term relationship with him hence just want to know how best to handle this as I don't say anything and believe he's conscious too. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2013): Most guys...if they're smart WANT to know how to please you! So tell him when he does something you like, or suggest other feelings you like-do you incorporate toys at all? That can be a fun way to try new things. YOU also have to be comfortable with your own body or it will not relax into a climax. I am guilty too, at 42, with some of the medications I am on it is hard to climax, and sometimes I feel badly that things take son long and I don't want to make him think that he is not pleasing me, because he is, but I fake it-come on EVERYONE does at some point! Bottom line-your man can't read your mind, so...show him the way, and if you don't know the way, play, play, play :)
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (8 October 2013):
 As all previous responders indicated, talk about it honestly. A good man will at least try to please his woman.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2013): If you don't explain to a guy in no uncertain terms what it is you like he will never get it right.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 October 2013):
 I think you need to tell him what you REALLY like in bed. I wouldn't start off by telling him he didn't get you off, but I would tell him, it REALLY gets me going if you do this or that - and either SHOW him or basically teach him.
Most women DO not get off from penetration alone, most men... that penetration is all that is needed. So it's a little off kilter.
A GOOD lover isn't instant for most (men and women) it takes a little time to find each others quirks, kinks, turn ons, erogenous zones and so forth. Showing your partner what you like is NOT bad thing at all.
A guy will not magically read your mind and know what gets your rocks off.
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A
male
reader, Cerees  +, writes (6 October 2013):
 Most guys, myself included don't mind when a girl tells them what to do. Especially if done in a sexy way. Every women, and every man for that matter, are different. We all need to learn to be with each new person we get involved with.
You could even make a game out of it. Like you tell em what to do to you and I'll tell you want to do to you. Ya take turns.
You could also have a conversation like this. 'I really like it when you do ______, and I'd love to have you do _____' Or 'You know what really gets me going, ____'
For me, I like to know I am doing a good job, and I think most guys do.
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