A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I am a 26 year old female in a 10 month relationship. I have a job that requires travel about 3 to 4 days/week. Because of this fact after only 2 1/2 months my boyfriend and I decided to move most of my stuff into his house (including my cat)so we could spend as much time as possible together when i was in town. Our relationship remained strong and healthy until about 2 months ago. He would bring up about once a week the fact that he was "unsatisfied" with us (I remained pretty happy with the relationship in general). We'll be having a great time one day and the next he makes this statement. He'll say he feels as though we should be more excited to be around eachother at this point. I feel as though we are at a point in our relationship (mainly because we live together) when excitement will come and go so I take it as it is and don't try to analyze every minte. He also says that we don't have a "base" to fall back on (we have quite a few things we do together, outdoor activities to name one). I ask what kind of "base" he is looking for and I never get a clear answer. I feel like he wants the ideal relationship which I obviously can't live up to. I rent an apartment with a roommate so i can move my stuff back whenever I want (which we agreed I will do soon). I understand we might have moved too fast. But I am now worried when we do decide to take it to the next level he will expect too much of me. I also worry that he is comparing me to past relationships as he has implied he's had better. That obviously breaks my heart and makes me wonder if I should stay with someone who would make such a statment. I at this point don't know how long we will remain together but we had something great at one point (and I believe we still couuld) and I continue to love him immensly. Do you have any advice or insight as to why the one I love so much has changed his mind about me?
View related questions:
roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 Hi there :)
I think him making those statements on a regular basis (having better relationships in the past) and wanting to be more excited isn't a good sign. He obviously thinks that he can do better (sorry),well, let him go and find a better deal then! You are young and shouldn't hold on to someone who doesn't really want to be with you (at least at this point he thinks he should do better). Don't waste your time, date some other people (they might be worse, or better) dating doesnt mean you even have to kiss your dates on a cheeck, it will be good for your self esteem to dress up, go out and have fun, while he will be on his own trying to work out whether he wants you or not. He has to decide whether he wants to be with you or not as he is the one who isn't happy with things. Id advice to move out and have a couple of dates or even just go out for a meal with your male friends (if you have got any).
All the best :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): We all have visions of what we expect a relationship to become when we take it to the next level.It sounds like you have a career that takes up a lot of your time, perhaps he thought you were going to be there all the time for him?He expected something else from you moving in then what happened. Maybe he is one of those guys who expects the girl to give up her life and be there only for him.Lets face it, both sexes have been known to do this.Sit down and talk about what BOTH of you expected this relationship to be like. If you didn't expect the same thing then both of you will have to decide on how far you are each willing to give in to the other.
...............................
|
