A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,My boyfriend of one and a half year wanted to have sex with me some time ago i cried and told him i was a virgin so he should please exercise patient because i want to get married before having sex. He understands that but said it isn't easy but he will try to wait but doesn't want to realize one day that he was deceived. Else it will make him lost interest and everything in me if he one day finds out that it is not true. I then asked him how will he know, and he answered if there is no sign of blood coming out then it means i have lied. I was very hurt about what he said but didn't show that so i asked myself is it always the case that one has to bleed before the partner knows that one is a virgin? or there are other things aside that.I need your advises please him me worried lady. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): that not a good thing because you dont always bleed the first time it just depends on the body and the intensity of the first time. You need to talk to him and make him understand he needs to trust you
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): Your boyfriend is full of crap. Unless of course he is literally hung like a horse, and your body is the size of a 14 year old.
He is pressuring you, and you should exercise caution with him. Being a guy, I didnt have personal experience to draw from, so I did the next best thing. I asked my 3 sisters! They were very honest, and none of them said they bled at all. By the way, they are all small women.
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A
female
reader, tamtam  +, writes (16 December 2010):
It is not necessary for you to bleed when you're a virgin.. usually as women get older, the hymen deteriorates too (and some people are born without one). If you use tampons or engage in some more active sports, it is likely you may have torn it already.
By the way, is your boyfriend more bothered about whether or not you're a virgin (aka he wants you to be one), or the fact that you're saying you are (aka he just doesn't want to be lied to and would be fine with you not being one if you told him).
I think you should direct him to google and tell him that not all virgins bleed. If he still insists on his own stance, then you may want to reconsider the relationship.
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