A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have this issue with my sexual identity and was wondering if other gay men possibly feel the same way.Cutting to the point, I feel jealous towards gay men or bisexual men who have or has had sexual relationships with womenI can't exactly describe the feeling but "jealous" is the best English word I can think of to explain it. Growing up I never had any luck with woman at all to the point point where I literally felt cursed. I was just sooo.....unlucky ALL THE TIME. Even friends sometimes highlighted that I seem to have a "bad luck streak" about me. People thought I was funny, good looking and smart but people also find me weird ,simple and silly but at a young age I realised that I liked men also. A ratio of 3:1 for men to women. What bugs me is that it appears that almost every "guy interested in guys" I come across has been with or is currently with multiple women. I can just picture them in my head have wild passionate sex and it sort of depresses me. It doesn't matter to me if they're putting on an act, or they hated it, or they felt forced to do it or they don;t like girls or they were just experimenting or all their friends were doing it. I'm annoyed that they got to DO IT and I DIDN'T. It's not just about sex, it about being intimate with a woman.It's weird, I know but...I think because I never got the oppurtunity to be with a woman in anyway it's somehow having an effect on me. Now, I consider myself gay but their's like a small hole that has never been filled by a woman and I secretly resent all the other gay and bi men who have been with woman. Even someone of the most feminine gay guys have had some experience (I'm not feminine btw). Also, their's the voice in my head saying "How can you be so sure you're gay, if you've never been with a woman?" But what angers me the most is that I can't buy a relationship or sex from a woman (so to speak).The guy has to have some "it" factor to get there and I think it makes me feel that no woman ever felt I had that factor. so I feel like a stupid loser who couldn't even score one experience with a woman. I'm now questioning my sexuality like crazyWhat's even weirder is that I don't really find women attractive so the urge to try and charm a woman into a relationship or even sex is not there BUT I STILL WANT IT. Plus, I feel like if a woman did make a move on me I would shoot her down faaaasst like I'd put up a "fight". I feel trapped in my own body.Also when I'm intoxicated women seem to be more appealing to me. Fastforward to today, I'm still single, never had a boyfriend, hardly been with guys. I think I have a problem giving myself to people and becoming more disconnected from my dwindling social life. HELP. Does anyone else feel this way and what can you suggest i do about it?
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jealous, move on, never had a boyfriend, trapped Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (27 August 2016):
 I think you should pay for the experience of being with a woman, meaning you should hire someone. I think it will be unfair to a woman or anyone if you "use" them to experiment with, unless you are honest with them from the start and she is a willing partner in the whole experience. The worst thing you can do is to hurt someone else because you want to do something to satisfy your ego.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2016): You are gay, but perhaps bi curious in a sense. Drives me crazy how people don't acknowledge that bi sexual is a firm category. I'm bi, have been with a few chicks but it's always guys that give me a relationship. Always hated that I couldn't try a serious commitment with a female and LTD knows gay girls are far in between so the selection is down. If you want to engage in promiscuous behavior however, you have to engage in events that encourage it
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (26 August 2016):
 Sexuality isn't straight or gay, its fluid. Women tend to be more sexually fluid. But from what I sense,you're attracted to men. You desire men. But you probably have a small desire to sexually experiment with a woman. But you're main attraction is men. Yet you say you have very little experience with either overall. I think you honestly should focus on just your self esteem, health, emotions, and life. Then the rest falls into place. Try focus on friendship, laughter, and common interest with someone, not whether they're female or male. I say if you want you can try experience women sexually just to know if in fact you only prefer men. But straight men usually never doubt that they like to look or touch or make love to women. You're young. You don't have to know everything right now. Focus first on friendship and everything else will follow. Good luck.
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