A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am wondering if it is common for men to get anxiety about heterosexual anal sex. I recently had it with my girlfriend for the third time and she was the one who became quite forceful about it. It freaked me out a little at the time. I thought maybe she had been lying to me about her past (she hadn't). Now I can't lose this anxiety over it and I don't know what to do!
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 March 2013):
 The answer is much simpler than you think.
You said that this is your third try at anal? That means this is a new thing introduced between the two of you. You're very fortunate, because most women don't like it and never get to the point of trying it more than once or twice.
But your girlfriend not only likes it, she *really* likes it, and this new thing has unlocked a new and unseen/unexperienced facet of her sexuality. She is letting go and experiencing fully, which is amazing. You have in her what many guys want in their girlfriends -- someone who is 100% into sexual adventure.
What is freaking you out is that you didn't expect her to like it so much. You were envisioning her as much more timid, or anxious, or cautious. Instead, she likes it more than you do and awakened to almost a craving for the feelings it has evoked. Indeed, her reaction actually confirms that she *hasn't* been lying to you.
It would be ironic that after this experiment, you are the one uncomfortable, because most times after trying anal, it's the woman who's uncomfortable with how it feels physically and emotionally. She is neither. However, if you are, talk it out with her. You don't have to keep doing anything you're not comfortable with. We all try new things sexually only to find out it's not our cup of tea.
But trust me on this, if it went down as you described and she reacted like that, it is not because she's lied to you. Quite the contrary...you've awakened it in her.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (8 March 2013):
Dear OP,
By "heterosexual anal sex" - do you mean sex with a woman and you are still the active/penetrating part - or do you mean sex with a woman and you are the passive/receptive part?
By forceful, do you mean she has a strong desire to get anal sex from you or is being forceful when giving anal sex to you?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (8 March 2013):
Don't know if it's common, but my guess is you might subconsciously feel like (I don't know how to say this nicely) she made you her b!tch.
Maybe that makes you uncomfortable and even a little scared. I've never done that before but aside from being a little "gay" feeling I'd be very uncomfortable with my wife dominating me.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (8 March 2013):
 what exactly is bothering you or causing you anxiety? that she is forceful? or that you don't enjoy doing it? a little bit more background info would be necessary to suffiently help.
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