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anonymous
writes: I have been with my fiance for three years and for the past few months I have been questioning whether I should be with him or not. I am sure that I love him but I was unsure if I was too young to be with someone for the rest of my life. I am 23, he is 36. I have been very depressed on and off over the years and have been taking anti-depressants. Our sex life has suffered as I never seem to want it and find it near impossible to achieve climax. Over the last few weeks I have become close to a male friend and the other night in a state of drunken stupidity, I slept with him. This has made me realise that I truly want to be with my fiance and that I love him so much. I am full of regret. I want to know if i should come clean and tell him, though I know he would leave me, or should I stay quiet and save everyone the hurt. I am 100% sure that I will never cheat again. The guilt is eating me up. Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2005): im in the same position !, me and my boyfriend dont throw the word 'love around' unless we really mean it, and for the past 6 months we have spent so much time together and fallen in love. he now wants to tell me that he loves me which is a very very big deal for him but last night i slept with someone else, i thought of my boyfriend the hole time n how im betraying him, i just didnt know how to get out of the situation, n i dont know whether to tell him either !!
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reader, cookie +, writes (14 April 2005):
Even though you say you wont do it again, trust me you will at some stage when you get over your guilt. I have been with my b/f for 7 years and married 3 years ago, when i did it once, its so easy to fall into the patern of it again BUT DONT TELL HIM!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2005): Yes you should tell him or you are betraying the trust left in the relationship and he is bound to find out sooner or later. How can you be so sure that he won't, and ask yourself if you are so sure you're happy in this relationship you wont haev another affair?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2005): No. don't tell him. If you are that certain, and feel this bad about your own guilt, then no... its probably best to learn from it and move on. Should it rear its ugly head in any other way, then face it but for now, leave sleeping dogs to lie.I don't condone cheating or lying but you seem to be honest enough with yourself... I think everyone deserves a second chance... but only the 2.Best of luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2005): I think telling your fiance would only hurt you and him. As bad as it sounds, you're not married yet and even though you are committed to each other this would only tear you apart. You seem to be punishing yourself enough with the guilt. You seem very sure it won't happen again. You should just try to put it out of your mind and work on your relationship with your fiance. Best wishes!
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