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Do I still love my ex or is it just that I need closure?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 December 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 December 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *essedupfemale writes:

I confronted my boyfriend today about the feelings I still have for my ex boyfriend, I can not understand how I am feeling, do I still love my ex, or am I seeking closure, etc? All I know is that I cant stop thinking about my ex and what could have been and feel constantly disappointed with the fact that things ended. I thought we were soul mates.

My current boyfriend's initial reaction was anger and hurt, but now he is saying that he loves me so much and is willing to help me get over my ex.

My ex let me go, I want to move on in my head, but my heart says give him a second chance (he wants another chance). Another part of my heart says stick with your current boyfriend and allow him to help you get over the ex, this is what I want.

I am SO CONFUSED!

View related questions: move on, my ex, soul mates, soulmate

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008):

I've been in a similar situation myself, but only you know what you really feel, the answer is locked in there somewhere. Sometimes you need to do what will make you happy, it may sound selfish, but really think about which of them makes you happiest. I made lists to try to help me figure out what i felt, i found that when it was written out in front of me everything became clearer.

I hope that helps, in some small way. Good luck with everything, i'm sure things will work out for the best in the end!! x

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A female reader, katatonik United States +, writes (1 December 2008):

katatonik agony auntA word of advice about second chances: unless the factors that initially caused you and your ex to break up have resolved themselves or changed, you will sooner or later be right back to the same problems that caused the breakup in the first place. Be cautious. As someone who has found this out the hard way, I'd like to share that warning so maybe you are spared the same mistake.

It's natural for you to want closure--your ex is someone in whom you invested time and emotion. Don't, however, torture yourself with repeated thoughts of what could have been. And whatever you do, don't scrap a relationship with someone who obviously cares about you for someone who was willing to let you go once without thinking really hard about what you are looking for, and why.

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