A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't think I love my girlfriend anymore. I'm 21 and she is 20, we have been together nearly 2 years and its been good.. but lately i have been feeling like i'm missing out. She is my first serious relationship, I only just started really exploring girls when i was 16 ( bit of a late bloomer) and never had sex until i was 17. I feel like i need to explore them more now.Since i got with her I have put on weight ( not alot ) i don't have much confidence in myself anymore, and i feel like she is condescending towards me but she doesn't realise she is doing it. It sounds really bad, but she has also put on weight.. quite a bit.. and i don't feel attracted to her much anymore. I always put off having sex with her now too. I feel so guilty about feeling this way, it makes me so sad 'cause i do love her, i just don't know if I am IN love with her anymore. I don't want to hurt her, because i know her enough to know that i am the love of her life, and this will probably destroy her.We live together also, and it feels like i have just been thrusted into life, and never really got a chance to have fun. Now i feel depressed all the time, cause i want to explore things more. Please help!
View related questions:
confidence, depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, holliegeorgie.x +, writes (31 August 2010):
 You never forget your first love but you can loose the feelings. It happens to a lot people. You never had another serious relationship and you don't want to let go of all the good things that came from it but things have changed. Your both different people. There is no point in being happy, if she loves you then she'll also want you to be happy. I think you need to sit her down and explain how you feel. I think leaving her would be better, let her re-start and don't hold each over back from things. You still care for her and that won't go away but your young and shouldn't be tied down. Who knows maybe one day you'll get together again but right now you should both be free to do whatever you please. Best of luck.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (29 August 2010):
 You would find that with every girl you are going to repeat the same cycle again: chasing, falling in love, settling down, handling conflicts, losing confidence. The important thing is to communicate well to patch up the disconnect you feel. Have you told her how much her comments hurt you? Does she know that the reason why you withdrew from sex is because you don't feel appreciated anymore?
When you say "condescending," I immediately think of a woman who's a man hater, and would stay in a relationship to act out whatever happened in her childhoood that caused her to hate men. From your post you made it sound like real life is a bitch, and that you get in a relationship at your own risk. In reality relationships can be a lot of fun, a mutually rewarding experience. Men who are in a committed relationship live longer, better lives.
The thing I want to know is whether she said those things because she felt hurt and was vengeful in the heat of an argument with you, OR she has no respect for men at all and has always been that way. If it's clearly a character flaw that she has, all you need to do is find a better woman for yourself. It's not necessary to give up on the idea of relationships all together. I believe you moved in too soon. With the stress of sharing space, clashing personal habits, you rub each other the wrong way and didn't handle your emotions well. You have to be very delicate in your speech in order to not trigger each other's bad gut reactions.
...............................
|
