A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:First of all, I sincerely hope that people take me seriously considering I am only 18. I have been through a lot recently, and I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me. The thing is that this is not the first boyfriend that has done that to me. So is this my fault? Is it something that I do that makes them cheat on me? Or is it just an unlucky coincidence? I'll add that both of the times were because I refuse to have sex until I am married, and both of the guys wanted more from me. Is it wrong to want to stick to my values? Or is it that I just choose the wrong guys?
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female
reader, whiskey_cowgurl  +, writes (8 June 2007):
without a doubt in my mind, stick to your values.
this idea of saving yourself until marriage has obviously been something you've kept your word on thus far, and that's great. Most girls give into the presure... you should be proud of yourself.
I admit, when you tell a guy your saving yourself till marriage he's probably going to be a bit taken back. But when someone loves you for you, they accept every aspect of you, and they'd be able to wait until the two of you were married. If the guys you've been dating end up going astray that is their fault, not yours. You sound like a wonderful person, and if something like sex is only reason their leaving you it's their loss.
I promise you, one day your going to find someone who is going to accept you for you, and they will respect your decission. So until then, just hold out hun... it might happen sooner than you think. Don't waste time crying over someone who obviously isn't worth it. Holding onto your values may seem tough now, but it will pay off in the long run =)
Best of luck hun, whiskey
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (8 June 2007):
 Yes, you should stick to your values. If a guy is going to cheat on you or leave you JUST because you wont have sex with him then he really wasnt worth hanging on to. And that goes for the days after you have lost your virginity, too. You may or may not make it to your wedding night still a virgin, but you need to be true to yourself and not give in to sexual pressures. When it is with someone you love who loves you just as much right back, when it is right and you are ready, it will be wonderful.
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A
male
reader, djjazzyjeff  +, writes (8 June 2007):
Tricky question, - sex is so open these days, it has lost that real "special" value it may have once had.
Part of me wants to say stand strong with your values, another wants to say enjoy yourself and be safe, - bear in mine people don#t get married at our parents ages any more, - this makes your sittuation even harder.
I would find somone who loves you and then amke love, dont just have sex, - most importantly - keep safe!!
Good luck
James
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (8 June 2007):
 You should be proud of yourself for sticking to your values. If your guy doesn't respect your values, then he doesn't respect you. It's not your fault. Forget him.
DV1
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2007): Stick to your values! You WILL find a guy that shares them as well!!! Don't buy into what the TV or what society says is normal!!
God Bless!!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (8 June 2007):
 I don't think you choose the wrong guys, I just think you've been unlucky. I won't lie to you... the no sex before marriage thing will be hard for any guy to take, especially now when you're just 18 and most guys your age(ish) aren't even considering marriage for another ten or so years. I think you just need to find someone who respects your beliefs and you respect theirs. After all, it's only too easy to feel bad that someone doesn't understand your principles and beliefs but it works both ways and whoever you're with you need to be sympathetic to how it feels for them to forgo sex for the woman they love.
Should you stick to your values? I can't help you with that one. I think if it inherently feels right to you then you should stick with it but don't feel bad if you ever change your mind. It might not feel like it but you're changing so fast at the moment and what feels right at the moment might not in six months time. Try being single for a while, get over the hurt of the past relationships and figure out what you really think and feel and want.
Good luck!
CD
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