A
male
age
30-35,
*onfused0ne
writes:Ok so kind of a long story. People may say TLDR but you kind of have to read all of it to understand. Sorry its my first time here, but all constructive answers are SO very appreciated. Here it goes:My current girlfriend and i have been together for over 9 months now. She is not only the first relationship i have had, but the first girl i have asked out, told her i liked her, etc. We met due to us having classes together so it fostered from there. I didnt at first notice her as someone i wanted to date until she started sending pretty obvious hints, and i figured well im shy so if she's going through this, and she seems cute and nice i'll date her. Fast forward 6 months. We're happy, i do feel like i love her. She feels the same towards me. The thing is, she has about two real girl-friends, the rest of her friends are guys. She has had some father issues so i can see where this comes from, but its like she always needs a man in her life. This is where it started getting rocky. She would always be talking to another guy, usually it would come out that he likes her. Eventually he fades away and a new one appears. She has never wavered from me and stands by my side, even saying she wants to spend her life with me. And i believe her. The first fight came when summer hit. We're not together so when the new guy starts talking to her, sending her sweet messages and whatnot, she responds to me by saying how nice he is, etc. I feel like i am not able to compete. So i eventually say stop talking to him. Period. We fight, she stops, done. She then for about a week says how she doesnt like being with me. Over and over. So i say fine we're through. She cries, begs for another chance. Eventually i cave. We get into this online videogame together, and she makes friends. Lots. All guys, and hey, when a guy sees a girl online, their lonely pathetic lives become brilliant. The fact that she doesnt at all try to hide it makes it worse. Then the next guy comes, this time from the game. He sweet talks her, romances her even id say. She tells me all about it. Eventually she says she likes him. I get angry. at him, at all the other guys she talks to. She wont quit the game for us. It gets too much, she breaks up with me. She says i dont make her happy. He does.I drive to her work two days later to say im sorry and i hope being friends works out. She says she will always love me. It looks like we may get back together. She says first though she has to date that guy to prove herself wrong that she doesnt need him. She says she loves me, not him and he only brings her happiness. Also, says that i never brought her happiness. She never dates him. We get back together. Now we're at today, yesterday i get a txt. She says its going to make me very mad, so i say just tell me. Apparently the day, the exact day we broke up, she talked to the guy. She said she was determined to be with him and, heres the kicker, she LOVED him. Then she explains that she didnt mean it like when she says i love you to me. She meant it friendly. I dont believe it, but she agreed to stop talking to him because he was breaking us apart. Did i mention she had an idea that even though he lives 2k miles across country she thought she could be in a relationship with him, seeing him maybe once a year? So im stuck here, at this point. She wants to move on, i feel so incredibly hurt i will be thinking about that text for the length of our relationship. I cant forget it. I'm afraid at some point, because im making her "happy" now, but that it wont last. And this may happen again. And we live in the same hall next year in school to make matters worse.Do i stay with her or is it my first love goggles that keeps me from breaking up even if its what i should do?
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broke up, get back together, I love you, move on, period, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): Reverse phsycology is the best option here. Pretend that you dont care, show no emotion. Otherwise if u dont you may push her away
goodluck
A
male
reader, Trans Am Man +, writes (2 September 2009):
 stay with her, she says she loves you and I think she means it. Just ignore all the other guys. trust her and everything will be ok. If another guy hits on your girl just leave it alone. She won't do anything to hurt you as long you trust her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): It's the goggles bro. You two clearly BOTH have insecurity issues. You seem to be a little jealous, maybe because she makes you so - proving to herself that she can get someone to love her. I don't know. Either way, I think it's best you both move on. This isn't a healthy relationship. Sorry.
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