A
female
age
30-35,
*33
writes: I'm 16 and just had my first boyfriend. I broke up with him over the weekend (we dated for a week) b.c I was unsure of what I really wanted. In the past, I've kinda hooked up with guys thinking that I had a chance with them. I've always wanted a good relationship and hated being single. Now, that I had my first real boyfriend I'm scared.. like I don't know what I want. He was happy with me but I wasn't very happy with him. My friend asked me if i actually like him and i guess i don't. I don't really find him cute (at all) but we get along very well. He's probably the nicest guy i've met and i don't wanna hurt him but i don't know what to do. My best friend thinks I can do a lot better than him. She knows he isn't really my 'type' Sometimes i wanna date him but other times I don't. i'm so confused. I guess I actually enjoy being single but sometimes it can get pretty lonely. I still have feelings for the last guy I was with. We never officially dated but we were together for 3 unforgettable months. I told my ex that I would think about getting back with him. i'm supposed to tell him my final decision this Saturday.. so what should I do? Stay single or give him one more chance even though I don't really think he's cute.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2010): you shouldn't be with him if you don't like him. It's not only not faire 2 you but it will wind up hurting him in the long run 2. You also shouldn't be w someone your not atracted 2. Don't git me wrong the way someone looks isn't every thing but it is a big part in a real relationship. Im 16 to and i love the guy im with. We have been 2gether 4 over 2 years and we have a lot in comen. o and don't wory about what your friends thank if i would have i wouldn't have the amayseing guy im w now. If they are realy your friends (and he is really a good guy) they will get over it. Don't be w someone if you don't like him. It will just end up hurting both of you.
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (4 May 2010):
You are young and you will have your numbers of prince charming and ugly ducklings. Its just sounds that you might be a little self center, you can't base a relationship on just beauty. If you liked a person it should be on how they treat you and how good you feel when your with them, that they make smile, and they are always trying to please you. Always remember beauty is skin deep and you might find a swallow person who will always put you in second place. I think maybe you should be single for right now till you mature a little more and when you find a guy you like, you should be with him because you like him not because your friends think he is cute or not.
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A
female
reader, Sanita +, writes (4 May 2010):
I have been in this position before, once to be exact. I dated this guy my friends matched me up with. He was a nice person, we had a lot of things in common but i wasn't physically attracted to him-he wasn't cute to me. We dated for awhile about two or three months and then i decided to end the realtionship because i just couldn't fool myself anymore in thinking that if we got to know each other more my feelings would change regardless of the fact that i didn't find him appealing. So i broke up with him when he asked me why i told him, he was crushed but i had to because it would have caused problem in the future, he wanted to get married to me in a years time but i couldn't see myself getting married to someone i am not attracted to or to someone i only liked as a friend.
Right now he is in a relationship with someone who loves him for who he is. I guess what i am trying to say is that it makes no sense for you to be in relationship with someone you are not attracted to. I know that love and having a successful relationship transcend the physical attraction but its one of the factors. My phylosophy as it relates to love and relationships is that, a successful relationship is based on not the world's standard or view of cute and ugly but about your acceptance/approval of your
partner's appearance. In a nutshell- attraction depends on whether or not you find your partner attractive, your definition of the word cute and ugly. Of course a successful relationship involves trust, communication, good friendship and patience.
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