A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My exboyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago and it's been hard to get over. He still sees me on occasion and it's just like old times when we were together. I try to be cheerful and not bring it up. He wanted his space to deal with his personal issues. So I have just tried to be there as a friend. He won't say it's over forever and ever which at first I asked him and he calls to see how I am doing. What does this mean? Does he want to get back in the future? Do I continue to be a friend for him or should I do the disappearing act? Which works better? I really love him an want it to work out. And we are not intimate anymore.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 June 2010):
He broke up with you? What do you owe him, that you have to walk on eggshells, stuff your own pain, and act like nothing's happened?
He ended things for a reason with you, and mostly it's because he doesn't love you and wants someone else.
You need to disappear, because being friends with an ex is emotional baggage you (and a new boyfriend) do not want or need.
He dumped you. Sitting around pining for him and being available if ever he should ring is not good for you, and you get the raw end of the stick. You will just get hurt over and over and over the more he rejects you. Better to have it done at one shot so you can get over him.
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