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Do I keep trying to get him or get over him? How can I get over him?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 August 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 August 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *uffy writes:

Hi there,I need some help please.

Well,I like this guy a lot and I've known him for almost a year now.I liked him when I first met him but I got over him real quick.Well,we both have the same friends and I get along great with his little brother and I'm really good friends with his sister and his mom loves me.Well,he figured out that I like him and it didn't do any good.Everyone keot bugging him saying I want his nuts and they just won't leave him or me alone.They keep telling me that I don't have a chance with him and I honestly don't think I do either.He's a really good guy and he's someone I need.He dated this one girl who isn't his type and she looked like she was 6! I don't understand what other girls have that I don't.I just really want him to give me a chance but we never talk and we barely did before.We have a lot in common too.We were born on the same day,both believe in god but not religious.Both like Katy Perry.Both drink and smoke ciggarettes but don't do drugs.We both like the Ramones a lot.And we both have the same friends too.I think he hates me now though cause everyone keeps bugging him and I know how annoying it could be.If it was my choice I'd get over him and be at peace but I honestly can't.Just when I think I'm over him I hear about him liking another girl or I'll see a picture of him and it'll go right back to trying to get him.When I hear that he likes a girl I'll try and find her and see what competition I have cause I'm a super jealous and competative person.So I don't know what to do.I'm trying really hard to get him but I think if I keep trying me and him won't even be close to being friends but I don't know how to get over him.I need help please.

Love always,

Muffy

33

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A female reader, muffy United States +, writes (14 August 2009):

muffy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

muffy agony auntThanks for helping me.I would've never thought of staying away from him.

Love always,

Muffy

33

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (12 August 2009):

First of all, no, you don't need him. You don't need any guy to make yourself feel validated.

Second, he may just view you as a friend. Sometimes that happens. Another possibility is the nagging of his friends. They may be making him feel like it's wrong to date you for whatever reason, and sometimes you're going to worry more about what your peers think about your relationship.

Third, quit trying to show him that you two should be together. Don't ever chase a guy. Just be cool, be his friend (even if you still do like him). If he winds up with a new girlfriend, don't act bitter or jealous, act like you're happy for him.

Finally, if you really want to just flat out get over this guy, you need to just stay away from him. No hanging out, no phone calls, etc., no contact, period. Don't try to check out the "competition" just try to have the mindset that he doesn't exist. It won't happen overnight and probably not within a couple weeks. Just be patient, keep your mind on other things, and hang out with other people.

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