A
female
age
36-40,
*earheadedgirl
writes:I have a problem. I have been suspicious of my boyfriend for a while, and recently decided to do some digging. Before you say it, save it. I know it's wrong to invade his privacy, but I won't sit here wondering forever. Anyways...I logged into his mobile phone online and found tons of text messages going to the same number. I know who this person is. It is a female "friend" of his. One day, he sent her four picture messages and me one. I went back through my phone to see what pic he sent me that day, and found it was a naked photo of himself. So. Am I crazy? I know he fliers with her. Am I also correct to assume that he's letting other girls see pictures that are supposed to be just for me? Am I over stepping my bounds? If I had concrete evidence this would all be much easier, but I don't know if I have enough to go on.
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female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (15 November 2011):
 If you want more evidence, don't tell him that you snooped and continue driving yourself crazy by checking his phone. I'm sure one day you will find the concrete proof that you need.... if you're willing to waste more time living in a sate of paranoia and mistrust. As you have stated, you doubt you will dump him. This means, you're accepting the fact that he flirts and sends inappropriate texts to women. I hope the next thing that you discover will give you the UMPF! that you need to leave this shady loser.
A
female
reader, gearheadedgirl +, writes (15 November 2011):
gearheadedgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, I know. But if I was to go to him right now and tell him, I know what the response would be. That be sent her pics of something else, an that it's just coincidence that he sent me naked pics the same day. Then he would proceed to beat to death how I'm too jealous and over suspicious, and like the other woman said, he would focus on what I did wrong.
I don't know. I love him, but this sucks. I honestly don't know if I'd dump him. I'm really torn. It's really easy to tell someone what they should do in their situation and the answers seem so obvious, but I've learned things are much different when you're in the middle of it.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (15 November 2011):
What concrete evidence are looking for? A picture of him having sex, or catching him with someone? He's sending pictures of his junk to a "female friend" who he flirts with. I am not sure how much more obvious it needs to get.
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A
male
reader, dd123456789  +, writes (14 November 2011):
I was in a similar predicament a couple of months back, I had suspicions about my GF. Anyway somehow I kept it on the down low for a few days, till I decided that what I was going to do was to plan to see her every single day unti she got bored of it and admited what she did. It was only another 3 days until it came out that she had passionately kissed another guy. I've never been so mad in my life, but somehow I found it in me to firgive her. That is because she is the girl I love. 3
If you love this guy as much as I love my girlfriend, you will have it in you to forgive him if your suspicions are correct (god forbid).
Best of luck. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2011): If it was me id wait for more evidence. If you approach him now more than likely he will have a great excuse and then flip it all around about you not trusting him and in the end you will still not know and will seem like the bad guy even though we all know he is. Just try giving it some more time. I know its super hard to wait at this point but hopefully it will be worth it and you can find out the whole truth. I'm sorry your going through this and I hope it works out okay.
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