A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:what do i do for the best?My partner recently split after 7 yrs and 2 kids. The relationship completly broke down and he moved out. He went home to his mum. He looks after our kids whilst i work 3 hrs in the evening. His mum has lung cancer of which she has been diagonsed 6 mts. She has had chemo and been ploding along ok. We did try and sort things out but he was not willing to come back now he knew his mum was ill, he gave up his job saying he would have to look after her.He recently told me he has a new job and has asked me to take the children to his mum s for an hour before he gets there to continue looking after them until i finsh my shift. Is this me or does this seem he hasnt thought this through as a few months ago he was telling me how ill she was, i recently saw her and she said she was attending a hospice once a wk. Surely if she has cancer it would be unfair for me to expect her to look after my children along who are 6 and 2yrs even if its only for a hour a day 4 times a wk. I have tried discussing it with my ex but he insists im being negative and trying to cause him problems, as far as he is concerned he is doing it for the children. What do i do? Do i go along with it or do i put my foot down and say no im which case if i do it will cause me soo much grief. HELP.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (16 February 2011):
 hi
cancer patients can have good days and bad days, she would probably be happy to have a bit of normality in her life BUT from one day to the next, depending on the chemo, she will never be able to predict how she will feel and i think that it is unfair to give her the duty of babysitting, especially for a 2 year old - toddlers are hard work. so i am with you on this one OP.
talk to his mum about this, and let her know that you feel it may be too much for her. is there no one else that can help out or even be a 'back up' babysitter for if his mum is having a bad day? is there no chance that your employer or his can adjust their rotas to accommodate you?
xx
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