A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:[Moderators Note - Op's own title]My dad wasn't in my life in my childhood. He faced child molestation and kidnapping charges for me and then took off to Colorado, building a stick house in the middle of NOWHERE. He has a history of domestic violence and suffers from bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. I always loved my dad, though, and wanted nothing more than to be with him again someday. I decided to go to the college 30 minutes away from him and live with him for the summer before I started school (last summer). Big mistake, especially with regards to one day in particular. Overall, my problem was that he would flip out over little things. I would forget to shut the gate to his house when going to a store just 3 miles away or I wouldn't jingle his door just right to make sure it locked properly. Then, one day, he just BLEW UP. We had to drive to the main city to go and do laundry, get groceries, and I was to go and file some papers with the social services office. He dropped me off and I soon realized that the old office was closed; they'd relocated. By then, my dad was long gone. I got the directions to the new place and walked the 4 miles there, calling my dad REPEATEDLY along the way (his phone was off) and leaving messages telling him explicitly where I had to go. By the time I had finished filing my papers, his phone was still off, so I sat outside the office and waited. Eventually he answered his phone and said that he was already home, 30 minutes away. I guess he just thought I died or something...then there'd be no point in figuring out where I was, right? He drove back and picked me up, screaming at me the whole way home. I was disrespectful, spoiled, etc, etc. It was MY FAULT that he was too stupid to figure out how to check the messages on his phone. It was MY FAULT that he went to the new office, figuring I went there, and went to the Mental Health building across the street rather than the SS building to look for me. ...Then he kept going. It was MY FAULT that I never saw him as a kid because I "fabricated stories" about him molesting me [NOT true. Just a month prior he ADMITTED what he did just as he did in court]. In fact, he flat out asked me, "did that guy [my stepdad who molested me, PLED GUILTY, and is serving 15-45 for his abuse] even molest you anyway? Cuz yunno, you should call the police and tell them he's innocent if he is."--At that point, I decided I was DONE with my dad. I didn't even want to see him again (and almost a year later, I can say my feelings haven't changed). Unfortunately, I was going to school just 30 minutes away and had to remain cordial, so I'd call every week or two and we'd meet up at a local fast food place once a month or so. Now, I'm in Africa, and I haven't talked to him since Dec 21st last year, the day I flew out. My aunt decided to pester me on Facebook today, saying "why haven't you called your dad? You know he loves you....he's suffered long enough not talking to you," and it has me thinking: should I just call my dad and basically tell him to **** off, and explain why and how I feel? Or should I just keep ignoring it and him for as long as I can?Thoughts?
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