A
male
age
36-40,
*amaidza
writes:I have been in love with this young woman for 2 years. We had been schooling in a local college training as P1 teachers.Accidentally in one of our happy moments she concieved while in college but since we were near to graduate and l loved her l promised to marry her the traditional way.She came n we started a life together from scratch n we usually had our bright and dark moments but l was never into drugs.Most of the time she could pick a quarrel and provoke me to a point of starting a fight.I love her and l terrorated her ignorance besides having my daughter.I have made alot of sacrifice to let my marriage break apart.My worry is that every time we quarrel she must plan and pack behind my back with the aid of her elder sister and flee when am at work.Recently she has gone to her cradle home a far distance from my village where we have rented a house for a home.She went in my presence the second time and l asked her with the help of my parent not to leave but she didnt heed.We were financialy stable since both of us we were employed and no one is infidelious.My daughter is now 2 years and l love her very much and l do not want to lose her.Now she has spent 2 months in her home and she asks me to go for her,since the first time she had run away to meet me, though am the one who instigated our make up through the phone dialogue.Am wondering if she realy loves me or is just pretence?l feel we are compatible but our personality differ alot.Does she realy love me or did she marry me due to desperation and shame that could be caused by the early untimely pregnancy?
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female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (12 March 2011):
 It is a stupid, cruel and hurtful thing to do, but many times a woman runs away, because she wants her husband or lover to come after her and fight for her to prove your love.
Maybe she has the same fears that you do, that you don't really love her and only married her because she got pregnant. She needs to know that you love her and want her and need her in your life and that you would have married her even if she had not had your child. She needs to know you want her back, not just your duaghter.
Once you convince her that you really do love her there may still be some ups and down but things should settle down and get much better between the two of you.
But you must also tell her that she cannot run away ever again when you have a disagreement, that she needs to learn to talk to you when she is upset and that you will listen to her complaint and do your best to fix the problem together with her. But no more running away in anger.
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