A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:To cut a long story short, I had sex with my female housemate. I am not super attracted to her but yeah, it happened. I suspect she has been trying to seduce me for a while because she has asked to 'spoon' a couple of times after a night out. After this particular night out, she invited herself into my bed wearing only underwear and after we spooned, it just happened. I didn't regret doing it as it wasn't awkward the next day and we are both totally single. I don't have feelings for her and am not all that attracted to her... just one of those things. Only problem is, afterwards, while we were lying in the bed, she told me how she would 'rather have done this the proper way' and 'gone for a drink and everything'. She told me that she thought I was really good looking when we first met. We fell asleep and as I said, it wasn't awkward the next day, we just surprised ourselves that it happened so quickly.Did she just want to sleep with me, or does she 'like' me? She has always joked about something happening, but what she said afterwards... that's the first time she's said anything like that.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 November 2016):
 Don't sleep with her again. She likes you and has feelings for you going by your post. You have no feelings for her, and don't find her attractive so you need to nip it in the bud before she gets hurt. She has pretty much said she wanted a date. But the only way she could get your attention was to offer you sex. It has happened now, but in the future if she tries again you need to be firm and say no you are not interested in her like that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2016): Sounds like she wants a relationship so you should make it clear and say whether that's what you want or not (kind of sounds like you don't want a relationship ship with her). If things aren't awkward maybe say to her "look that was great the other night but so you know - I'm not looking for a relationship and wouldn't want you to think I was and wanted to be honest with you"
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A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (20 November 2016):
 She likes you and you picked up on it when she talked you about "proper way". She likely could not get a chance for the proper way like a date and a night out because you probably never gave her any signal that you want to. Like the Anon said, she slept with you in place of a date hoping sex will be the hook for a relationship. Looks like it's your call to make what you want to do but FWB is something I would not do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2016): I think she likes you, like you said she's been trying for sometime . I don't know any girls that have slept with guys just for "sex". Whenever I have done it , I've always felt a deep connection to them- sometimes too much. And this usually ends up in the girl being hurt an the guy running off- in my case anyway.
You may want to tread carefully though. As in mentioned effort women can get attached to men they are sleeping with and can become upset and hurt if that man doesn't respond. Maybe avoid sleeping with her if you do not like her to prevent any upset before it's too late.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (20 November 2016):
 By "liked you" I mean "found you attractive."
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (20 November 2016):
It sounds like she's had feelings for you for a while now, but you hadn't really showed any interest in her previously. If I had to guess, sex was her way of trying to get your attention. And she probably thinks she was successful, hence the comments afterward about how she has always liked you and wished the night had happened after a proper date.
Basically... don't be surprised if she reads more into that night than you intended. If you're truly not interested in her, you need to communicate that gently but firmly as soon as you can or things WILL get awkward as she starts to imagine you two might become a couple, only to have her hopes dashed. Remember, you two still have to live together (with others too, I'm assuming) so it's in your best interests to minimize whatever drama may come out of this.
Hope this helps clear things up. Best wishes!
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