A
female
age
36-40,
*lapure4
writes:Dear Cupid, I might be cynical in saying this, but I didn't believe that fate could bring two people together as it was always something I saw depicted in movies. Never have I ever experienced love like this when I met my current boyfriend who lives 1000 miles apart from me at a speed dating event in NYC. After signing up for the event with a college buddy whom I was visiting, I went with the intentions of having fun and mingling with young, like-minded people. Then, I met this guy who was only a few years older than myself, and we had the most organic conversation I've had in a long time. We only had 3 minutes to talk before moving onto the next person. I was intrigued by him the moment our eyes met and began talking about all things personal. I was thinking, wow...I can't wait to resume our conversation, but after that night, I never saw him again. Later on that evening, all who attended had the option of choosing their favorites on the site in order to stay connected. Me and this guy obviously picked each other, he gave me his number and the rest is history. More than a month later, this has blossomed into a very passionate, intense long distance relationship. This guy is a hopeless romantic as I am more of a pragmatic romantic. We have so much in common and I am emotionally drawn to him on so many levels. I have never met anyone like him. What's crazy is that I didn't go looking for it nor did I expect for this randomness to happen at this point in my life. We have both fallen for each other hard and I plan on moving to NYC to be with him sometime next year. Did fate bring us together? And is this considered a relationship based on infatuation or real love?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2013): I have done long distance successfully and have now moved to live with my significant other. It is amazing!What I will say to you is this;You have the rest of your lives to be together, so take it nice and slow so that you get to know each other completely first.When the relationship requires one of you to move countries, there is a lot at stake and to relocate for someone you have never spent 24hours with is ridiculous. Talking on skype, IM, text etc, is all good - like a CV. It's the first step in getting to know each other. Now you need to have an interview; learn each other's habits, routines, quirks etc - all the things that you don't really know until you've spent time with someone.If your connection is that great, then it is worth buying tickets to visit each other for a month at a time to see how you work in person. Only after that would it make sense to discuss permanent relocation.Think about the logistics as well - how are you going to support yourself when you relocate. Have you looked at the job market? Have you looked at what the city is like? Have you discussed these issues together?I am a testament that it can work out. But I know that a lot of patience, planning and strategy made us the success story we are today. If you act impulsively because you love him without thinking about anything else, you are going to put stress on the relationship when you live together. You'll resent him if you can't find your dream job. He might start to resent supporting you financially if you don't get a job early. People have done crazy things and they worked out. Good for them. But majority do impulsive things and end up in trouble so take a mature approach.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 October 2013):
 I too, don't believe in fate. But that doesn't mean because you two met at a speed dating event that you two didn't connect and won't stay connected. I think your relationship is based on infatuation and common ground. That CAN over time turn into love, no doubt.
I think that sometimes we are lucky and met someone we fully click with.
I would however, slow down just a little. And I would try and spend as much time FACE-to-FACE to get to know one another and talk. Yes, you can talk/text on IM/phone or Skype, but believe it's nothing like being NEAR each other and being able to talk and read each other's body language.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (21 October 2013):
 I think only time will tell if this is infatuation or real love.
Right now things feel wonderful for you and that's great.
Please remember though, you have only met this guy for 3 minutes. The rest of your contact has been long distance.
I'm not suggesting this isn't real but please be open minded that there are many people out there who are not as honest as you'd think.
I assume that before you do anything as huge as move to be with him you will regularly meet up and spend time together? I only say this because we have had letters from people who have moved to be with their LDR "love of their life" only to find that the reality wasn't the dream they had anticipated.
Right now I think you've connected with this guy and want to believe that this is real love and he feels the same about you. Maybe it is love, only time will answer that one.
Just try to keep grounded and make any moves carefully and thoughtfully (especially Skype or web cam "sex" which can end up recorded and anywhere!)
I hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, little sue +, writes (21 October 2013):
I met my husband through a dating site and waa just there for a laugh not expecting anything from it and even wen we had been talking for over 3 weeks I still was considering it funny and thought id made a great friend . He was so cheesy if was laughable (not my type at all ) but the day we arranged to meet as soon as we met something clicked and we fell head over hills in love with each other he moved 9 miles ti be with me after that first week of meeting and we havent looked back I do beleive in fate and when god wants 2 people to b together he will put you together .. good luck and congratulations . Ive been with my husband for just over a year now :)
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (21 October 2013):
 I would say it's based on infatuation that has the potential to turn into real love over time. And I do believe in fate, so who knows? Maybe it is!
However, you two don't really know each other just yet. You only met one time for three minutes and everything after that has only been through long-distance contact. this means you don't known what he is like in his day to day life and routine in person. So I wouldn't get completely ahead of myself just yet. Don't get me wrong, I wholeheartedly believe you two have amazing and wonderful conversation. But I simply mean you two don't know each other in the way that it takes to really love each other just yet. One month is long enough to know you really have an amazing spark, but not long enough to know enough about someone yet to know you love them. I do truly believe, though, that you can know you WILL love someone. Maybe you know that one day you will love him.
That's my two cents.
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