A
male
age
41-50,
*oyalson
writes:Ok it's like this. I just wrote out this whole thing about my experience and deleted it because I'm tired of reliving it. The point is is that it's been almost three months and I am completely obssesed with my ex-girlfriend. We were only together four months! When will it go away? Yeah it was only four months but it was crazy, complicated, intense, emotional and we both experienced things that we never had before and opened up about things that we never had before. She is my dreamgirl. Everything I want in a girl except she is psycho. So am I so it makes it worse. Obviously lots of drama went down and she said many very hurtful things to me that I know she meant. I can't stop thinking about her. I replay it over and over in my mind constantly. I can't fathom the fact that we could connect like we did and now this person never wants to talk to me again. I def. love her but I know we are not good for each other. I would love to be friends but she won't because I became psycho after we broke up. It's strange. It's like we both met at even. Trying to come across as stable. Getting close completely made her fall apart. She was pretty much psycho when we were together. Self - esteem in the toilet. I can't fathom it. Does that really happen to some people when they get close? Because for me its the opposite. Crazy thing is as I went down she comes up! We break up and her self-esteem is through the roof! Telling me all the same wonderful, positive stuff I had been telling her to pick her up! So anyway, I'm obsessed with this chick and she destroyed my brain. I'm still in shock. I can't put into words how bad I feel. I think about her all day. No lie. I write stupid stuff like this when I have things to do. I'm out of my mind. I just can't shake it. Always picturing alternate events. Futures and future/pasts that aren't real. I've emailed her sooooo many times and I know she reads them. I stopped though. Bottom line is she doesn't care about me, she thinks I suck, is totally over me, was right away and won't be my friend. All I can do is obsess over her and what happened and how great she is and who she's with and what she's doing and a million other major, minor, trivial, meaningful irrelevant things. My life has completely collapsed. I lost my job because I got arrested which yes, indirectly is her fault. It sucks. My self-esteem sucks. I feel like crap. I look like crap. My place is trashed and I lost it too. I'm in massive debt. My lawyer bills are through the roof. I have a million things to do. I just can't. All I can think about is her and it's making me want to check out. It's all too much. It is hard to comprehend how two people can have an intense, deep, one of a kind connection and never talk again and I just can't fathom that I will never, ever get to see her and talk to her again. I know it wasn't right and we aren't right for each other but forever? Man. Forever? Seriously? Why did we meet? Like we we experienced all ths deep, intense stuff toghether and you don't want to ever talk to me again? I'd have rather not met. It breaks my heart that she nothings me now.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): If you're experiencing such large emotional changes that are making you strongly depressed and interfering with your every day life, " I got arrested which yes, indirectly is her fault" which would seem that it is, i would recommend the option of professional counseling.
However given your situation with money, if this works out as too expensive then maybe a possibility is talking to any close friends about it and just getting the whole event of your chest, sometimes that could be as good of a relief as any.
You said yourself she was a "Psycho" when you were together and that you know that you aren't good for each other, so emailing her and trying to maintain contact is probably not the best route to go down, i know its hard but in the long run it's best if you try and distance yourself from her. Especially if she has distanced herself from you and is deliberately not replying to your emails.
I know how hard it must be trying to get her off your mind, but your in an age bracket which means your still so young and the relationship only lasted 4 months. It could be a case of getting your head down and waiting until the feelings die down enough to go have a look for another more suitable lovely lady.
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