A
female
age
30-35,
*lindlove93
writes:My boyfrend is very abusive. He constantly beats on me and leaves bruises everytime. Last time he busted open my face. He says he loves me and will protect me. I'm scared he might be putting me into a early grave. I tried to leave numerous times but he promises that everything will change. I've gotten pregnant by him twice and was forced to get a abortion each time. God knows I love this man very much cause he is my first love, but he's hurting me. my question: Is the power of love able to stop him from beating on me and change his ways or should I just leave him and move on with my life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): Like I said my real dad abused me an my mom once my mom fought back he stopped think about that what if you want kids someday an he hurts them my mom had two brother sister pits my dad was jealous cause she loved them more he shot one an held the shotgun to her head an told her to shoot the other or he'd kill her so she did an he'd force her to have sex you don't need an abusive guy it'll make you crazy my mom actually tried to kill my dad a few times so find out why he's like this or leave all of us are tryin to help it may not be what you wanna hear but its what you need to know
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female
reader, blindlove93 +, writes (13 January 2009):
blindlove93 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Everyone constantly says the odvious word "run". I know its a bad relationship but...i cant help it. he makes up excuses everytime and stupidly i believe him. To be honest with you all...my father never loved me and this man gave me the love and attention i needed. so you can say that i have "daddy issues".
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, sandra78 +, writes (12 January 2009):
Sad to say.. But I can completely understand ur situation. I met my husband in the 10th grade.. We've been together for 15 years. When I was about ur age, a year or so into our relationship, we had a huge arguement and he hit me. I was devistated. He ofcourse appoligized and I accepted it. That was far from the end of the abuse. He became very jelous, possesive, controlling, verbally mantally and ofcourse pysically abusive. I was very afraid of him, however loved him with all of my heart. One evening, he had come home and without warning, just came after me. He had beaten me so bad that I had to go to the hospital. While in the hospital, a nurse had asked me what happened, and I told her the truth. (I had lied to the doctors) she immediatly called the police and he was arrested. While in jail, he told me how sorry he was, and if I dropped the charges that he would change. I ofcourse bought into his manipulation once again and called the DA's office then next morning. Luckly the law was that once charges were filed, there was no turning back. He was forced to take responsibility for what he had done. He was sentenced to 3 mos. In jail, and manditory counceling for anger and abuse. Believe it or not.. Once he got out of jail, he never once laid his hands on me in anger again. Through counseling it was realized that all that all the abuse he had taken as a child were affecting his adult life. In a nut shell.. I was being punished for what his parents did to him, because he had no control over them. But with me.. He did. We've now been together for 15 years, have 2 kids together and are very happy. I guess the moral of my story is.. Sometimes they can be helped. If they are willing to commit to counseling and find out where the anger really comes from. If he really loves you, he will get help. You should probably leave for the time being. Atleast until he seeks counseling and goes to a few sessions. If he doesn't agree to get help, and actually follow through.. Definatly get out of the relationship. Love shouldn't hurt. Good luck.. I hope this helped.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): Well my real dad (he got murdered when I was 3 yrs old) would beat my mom when she was pregnant with me she had three miscarriges before me two was cause he beat them out of her he was jealous that she'd love us more he tried to beat me out but I survived my mom told me if a guy does it once he'll do it again don't listen to the "oh baby I'm sorry please take me back I'll change" cause they don't change both my parents are mentally psycho skitzo an bipolar an had horrible up bringings my dad had even kidnapped me from my mom for a yr we can't blame my dad he was abused an crazy but what you need to ask yourself is do yot still love him when he hurts you an makes you kill a defenseless baby they can feel you abort them ya know it hurts them he's not worth it an if I met him I'd beat the holy crap outta him I've been in abusive relationships I knocked one guys back teeth out an split the others whole bottom lip open I hate woman beaters they're pu$$ys that hurt others to make themselves feel better : (
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): Run.
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female
reader, mich33  +, writes (12 January 2009):
please please walk away from this man. I was in an abusive relationship so i know how difficult it is, he was controlling and jealous of me having any friends, he used to blame me for everything even the violence, it hurts physically and mentally emotinally, is it really worth all the pain you are going through, i am still scarred because of my experience emotionally, the longer you stay with him the more desperate and weak you will get, this is want he wants whether intentional or not. You deserve someone who loves you, respects you and adores you not hurt you like this. You must tell someone get some help. Counselling helped me summen up the strenght to leave, email me if you like:)but dont do nothing he will keep hurting you and promising not to.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): MAKE A SAFETY PLAN and LEAVE ASAP. Even if you have left him, he might try to get you back or KILL YOU. Get a support group who can protect you from him.
What you are writing is NOT LOVE, it is PURE ABUSE and ADDICTION TO ABUSE. You are addicted to your abusive boyfriend. He is sick. When you are out of this relationship you should go to counselling, you need to find the roots why you chose to date an abuser/physical, mental and maybe even sexual.
You need to get out for your life sake and take care of yourself and love yourself and learn from your past mistakes. If you have high standards and if you have high self-esteem, and if you know how to identify abusers from an early stage-YOU'LL GET A GOOD GUY WHO'LL TREAT YOU WELL.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): I've been thru this exact type of relationship!..leave as soon as u can or it'll get worse...once the abuse starts it'll stay forever!...my ex-baby's daddy did the exact same thing to me left bruises then bagged me not to leave n it'll never happen again, but he lied!..it happened repeatedly...i got away ASAP...i also have seen my aunt in the same situation, n now my uncle is in prison for tryin to kill her for leaving dont stay to much longer cuz it could get worse!..the longer u stay the more he could plan to hurt u :(
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