A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How can I find a girl I really like?I've been really depressed lately and haven't been talking to many girls because I always get lead on. Tips?
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (3 August 2011):
 Not a hijack at all, Cerberus. Tisha suggested I go ahead and put that post up as an article, so I've done so.
OP, you ought to check it out:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-be-attractive-a-beginners-guide-for.html
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): Apologies if this is out of order or some kind of hijack Odds but the best advice I've seen in this regard is your post on this thread.
OP check out Odds post in this thread, it's comprehensive and deals with everything you need to know.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/whats-the-secret-to-attracting-a-woman.html
If you can understand what's written there and can apply it yourself then home free.
All I'll add is don't stress it or put yourself under pressure. Dating is about fun, nothing else just fun. Even rejection, mistakes and failure are fun because it means you tried.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (29 July 2011):
There are many tips to give, but too much at once will only confuse things, so I'll just give two for now.
1) Confidence. Have it. Develop it. And remember that a confident man isn't afraid to take risks, to get rejected, to walk away from a girl who isn't treating him right, or to stand up to a man who is making life harder. Accept that failure, repeated failure, is the first step to mastery and success. Irrational self-confidence is always better than avoiding conflict or risk.
So go ask someone out even when you think you have no chance. Walk away from a girl who is leading you on. Chuckle when some random girl wants you to spend money on her, or do her a favor for free. Respond to every insult or problem with a witty comeback, and laugh it off. Because none of it is that big a deal, even if it seems like it at the time.
2) Chicks are not ineffable and mysterious creatures. What they do is entirely rational and logical if you can accept that their actions and emotions start with different priorities than a man's. If a woman's behavior is confusing to you, it's because you've misapprehended her priorities.
For instance, when a girl continues to go back to a guy who treats her like crap, it may seem irrational and confusing - you don't want to be treated like crap, why would she? And the answer is, she doesn't, but being treated well is a lower priority to her than being with a confident, dominant, powerful, attractive man. In her mind, being with the guy is a net gain, so it's an completely rational move for her. If you could be an even more confident, dominant, powerful, and attractive man, plus treat her well without losing the edginess she desires, then she would go with you instead of him.
Once you understand that chicks make perfect, logical sense, all you have to do to understand them is figure out what is motivating each individual girl to act the way she does. Then you can use that knowledge.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): You're putting yourself under a lot of pressure, dear! When you come into contact with a new girl, concentrate on getting to know her as a friend first. The more familiar you are with someone's character, the better you can gauge whether they're the type of person who'd be likely to lead you on or someone who's genuinely looking for a relationship. One important factor is where you're meeting people. Rather than just anyone, try talking to those with whom you share a common interest; do you belong to any clubs inside/outside of school? If not, join one! Hobbies etc. are always a good starting point for compatibility. Don't let the matter stress you out too much though. These things can't be forced; it often takes a little while to find someone with whom you click. In the meantime, remember not to take any flighty behaviour or rejection too personally. At your age, emotions can still be rather transient, so don't think you're doing anything wrong. Finding a girl you really like is only a matter of time, so don't lose heart. Good luck and take care :)
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 Tips? Dont be nice kind generous or even thoughtful with girls. Tease them... i e when a girl smiles say something like your smile reminds me of a cartoon character I used to watch when I was a kid. Dont compliment. Holding doors is ok. Try not to be shy, girls hate that even if they say they do not. It shows lack of confidence in ones self. Be outgoing and if possible start beefin' up... your 15? whats ur weight at? weight training at ur age may be possible and if so, do it. Women love a great body more than any personality so if you have a nice bod, women will break ice with you a lot easier and you will always feel confident with how you look and the fact you have girls comin up to u left and right. Good luck.
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